The Baby Name Wizard

Hhhhhmmmm....that is really interesting. I never really thought of the benefits associated w/ giving a girl one masculine name, while adding a more feminine one to balance things out. It makes sense, though. I have found myself tossing the name "Tallulah Grey" around. Tallulah is decidedly feminine and Grey is a masculine sounding surname. Whenever I try to pair Tallulah with a more feminine sounding middle name, I just don't like it as much. I really like Harper and Greer as first names for girls and have found that it's my inclination to put them with more girly middle names like "Harper Amanda" and "Greer Eisley". Although Eisley is arguably slightly masculine as well.

It makes total sense to match a androgyneous or masculine name to a much more feminine one - good point, laura. Of course, I'd still say Tatum Beatrice is taking things too far - too many syllables and too much of a contrast. Madison Miranda, though a mouthful because of all the "Ms" is at least close enough in the time line of trends to flow better. I like Tallulah Grey.

Really good point. On many of the baby name message boards out there, one often reads requests like: "What middle name goes with ?" Suggestions of middle names that don't "match" well with the chosen first name are usually met with negative responses. This "match" factor seems to trump all others, when sometimes I think a bit of balance is more in order...

I wonder what is happening with families that want to use a middle surname with meaning (that is, actually in their family)? To me it seems a bit odd to pick these "surnames" (esp. for girls but that's a different topic!) seemingly at random because they sound good. I would think that a "real" given surname would lose its importance if it suddenly became the next big thing among all the kids . . . and I'd hate to have a family name that got mistaken for simply following the surname trend!

I actually like the surname for a middle name - or even for a first name. Not necessarily a family name that has meaning, but there are many surnames that lend themselves nicely to being unique, but not too weird, first or middle names. i.e. Kennedy, Maclean, Parker.

On a seperate note, I am 39weeks and 5 days pregnant and still struggling with picking a name. My husband and I have been flip-flopping on a girl name and can seem to decide on a definitive one. Some advice? We've been keeping our ideas from friends and family, but I'm dying for some help deciding!

The top two names we've been bouncing around are Molly and Colby. The middle name will likely be Isabelle or Reeve, and the last name is Tufford.

Some other names we've considered are:
Sydney
Parker
Quinn
Sophie

Pam,
Molly, Sidney, are Sophie are darling, yet sassy.
Parker, Quinn, and Colby are boys' names. I couldn't tell from your post whether you were seriously considering them for a girl, or if those were the boys' names you're debating. I like the surname/first name trend myself, but I am really biased in favor of names that are clearly masculine or feminine. I also like names that "grow," well, and Colby, in my mind, is a very "young," name. Assuming you're intending it for a boy's name, I like both Quinn and Parker. Please, if you're considering them for a girl, reconsider. Sydney would have much the same effect without all the confusion. Good luck!

Well, I would have to disagree! In Britain, Sydney is definitely a boy's name, and I recently met a girl in L.A. called Colby. It seems gender in naming is a very individual matter these days!

PS. Parker Posey is a girl, but I have to say that sounds really odd to me. It sounds as though the names are the wrong way around.

I like Quinn, I've never heard Colby before so I'm neutral. I'm sorry to say I don't like Molly. It's in the class of names that only suit babies I've noticed lately- really cutsey girls names. I just can't see it working on a tough successful career woman, Presidnet Molly anyone?

I have to agree with Dorothy. The use of random surnames as first names for kids strikes me as kind of meaningless. We used my maiden name as a middle name for our daughter. That had meaning and family history. Just pulling a surname out of the air doesn't. IMHO

Also, the idea of a name being a "young" name: I used to think that Heidi and Wendy were hard to picture on adults. Well, now I know plenty of adult Wendys and Heidis. It's all relative.

BUT here's a cautionary thought for young parents thinking of using diminutive female names like Molly or Katie for a girl. Consider that she may want a dignified adult-sounding name as an adult, when she becomes Secretary of State or District Attorney. Carrie is great but that little girl may be very glad to have Caroline to fall back on when she's an adult.

All of our children's middle names are family names, except baby #5. Her name is Adelaide and no family names seemed to sound right with it. So at the last minute I picked Adelaide Amelia because I thought it sounded beautiful. DH still doesn't like the name Amelia, but I just say "who cares? It sounds good!"
Pam, I know a female Colby who is 24. I think it's a great name. (She likes it too) I also like Quinn (to me it sounds more like a girls name than a boys name). Sidney and Sophie are very popular, in case that's a big deal for you.

Pam -
I like Colby best of your top two choices. Colby Isabelle Tufford. There are a couple of characters on current TV shows named Colby, all of which are girls. I think it has the potential to grow, which is harder with Molly (I know there are several Molly's out there that disagree) in my opinion. I also love Sydney, which I would never consider as a boys name (unless I wanted my son to get beat up on the playground). Parker is a family name for my husband's family - a girls name. It's cute, but I prefer Sydney and Colby personally.

Isn't it interesting how each of us has opinions on what a name says about someone? It just goes to you show that you will never be able to please everyone.

On the subject of family names: my husband's family has a thing about family names - each kid has at least one. Lezah, Joslin, Charles and Parker - I'm not crazy about any but Parker, and that's the one they all love, so I'm staying away from it (too many fights of who gets to use it on their kid from SILs).

I agree that a family surname for a middle name is much more meaningful than anonymous surname chosen because of the sound.

I am also glad to see recognized that middle names may not necessarily need to mimic the style of the given name. A middle name of a different style offers the child options later on.

I didn't give either of my daughters my maiden name as a middle name. I think it might have been the name of my theoretical 2nd son though. (A first son would have had my husband's name as his middle name).

Both my girls have fairly sensible first names (Charlotte & Joanna) and fairly frilly middle names (Juliana and Cecilia). I don't think the name styles clash blatantly, but a couple relatives did note that I like middle names that are a mouthful.

Of the names Pam listed, I like Quinn the best. Yes for a girl!! (And give her a fairly frilly middle name! Alanna? Rosetta? Juliana? Cecilia?)

Pam, in the US, Colby is a decidedly *masculine* name. All the usage of the name has been for boy (as plotted in the Name Voyager). That means that if you name your daughter Colby, then most people will assume on hearing the name that she is a boy. Molly on the other hand, is an 'all-girl' name.

So really, what it boils down to is what kind of image do you want for a daughter? Do you want her to have strength and masculinity that might give her an advantage in the work place, but also might cause people to be surprised that their Colby turns out to be a girl? Or do you want an name that states her gender right out there? My personal prefrence is for the feminine. Plus, Colby reminds me of cheese. :-\

My prediction? That you will wait until you see her to name her. Some people are just like that - when they see the baby they just know what name is best. :)

As far as boy/girl names are concerned...I grew up with a name that was considered both...Jamie. I didn't grow up thinking that I had to prove myself as a girl. Now a days I really don't think that names are being put into boy/girl specific catagories as much anymore...

As far as middle names...Ann/Lynn seem to be the main one in my family there's me and my sister and two of my female cousins that share the "Ann/Lynn Connection" as we call it, and we intend on carrying it through to our daughters...

I like the names Cordelia Ann and Virginia Lynn...Cordie and Ginie for nicknames...

Hi--love your blog-- i'm currently 4 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and am trying go thru names that sort of match my other 2 both girls-
Mackenzie Dru (4 yr old)
Machaela Elizabeth (9 yr old)

Machaela was named after her dad- Michael and elizabeth is a family name

Mackenzie's name was from a dream and since they started the same way i chose it and Dru is from her dad's middle name Drew--

possibles for girl
-Mackenna ?? maybe too close to mackenzie

any suggestions??

ChristyMike,

I think Mackenna is definitely too close to Mackenzie.

How about:
Macy
Maya
Maliyah
Marcella
?

OR

Since Mike has 2 daughters named after him all ready, maybe it is time for baby Christa? :)

My husband's grandfather has been the cunstible in the same little town for years. He's been known by the nickname Cactus for years around town and the street that he built his house on several years ago was named after him...Cactus Dr. My husband and I have thrown around the idea of somehow honoring this nickname by possibly using it as a middle name if we have a boy. We've been throwing around the name John Cactus (since my grandfather's middle name is John). Any input?

I think these posts point to the desire for some kind of a bulletin board/forum separate from comments on Laura's postings.

Concerning the name questions above, I worry about all the male names being taken over by women and would vote for more traditionally female names. Perhaps instead of balancing out a female name with a more masculine name, balance out a young/girly/frivolous/creative name with a more timeless/traditional one.

On the baby naming board I go to, I hear so many people saying "I really love the name (insert surname/boys' name), but I want to make it feminine by adding random Y's and with a girly middle name."
Emersyn Rose does not make Emerson a first name.
Charly Alexandra does not change the fact that Charlie is a boys' name.

It's true that I would rather see an Emersyn Rose than an Emersyn Parker, but wouldn't it be better to just give girls girly names in the first place?
Yes, there is the defence that she can fall back on Rose if Emersyn doesn't "suit" her, but in my opinion, the only way Emersyn will suit her is if she has a penis.

Lisa, I think John Cactus is a great name! It's the perfect way to make his full name original & a great story for your son to tell throughout his life. I think it has a lot of character.

On the topic of Emersyn Rose--people who give names like this to children are visting a whole lifetime of struggles over spelling on their children's little heads. I grew up with a friend named Byllye--what a world of grief she went through.

Again I'm finding the differing opinions incredibly interesting. A few weeks back there was a whole group in SUPPORT of androgynous names and today everyone seems to be fighting against it.

I disagree with Joni that that name Colby is decidedly masculine, despite what the Voyager says - I have NEVER met a boy named Colby, but I've met a girl and as I mentioned before there are Colby's on TV shows that are female. I think it started out as a family name, but still. However, there is that cheese connotation that might need to be considered. You certainly couldn't name the following son Jack!

ChristyMike - I agree with Cheryl that Mackenna is probably too close to Mackenzie. But I love her suggestion of Macy. It's a lot shorter than your other girls names, but is starts out with the Mac and it's adorable (other spelling options include Macey and Maci). Also another Scottish name that's somewhat different would work - MacKeyan or something.

Just looked up some other Mac names and found Macadrian and Macaria. They mean daughter of the sea and blessed respectively.

What about Laura Jean Reese Witherspoon? (To get back to the first v. middle v. last debate)...

Name to go with Tatum:

Campbell (i.e. NBC's Campbell Brown)
Parker (Parker Posey)

I am new to this blog & am catching myself up in the dialogue about Tatum & matching sibling names to a particular "name family" style. I was thrilled that this was a topic of conversation b/c I am trying to find a girl name that matches my three other children: Abigail, Caleb & Eliza. I have been taking strolls through local cemeteries in Concord, Lexington & Acton looking for colonial/biblical names that match. The name I saw several times that struck me was Olive. But then when I opened the Baby Name Wizard to see the sibling name suggestions I was surprised to see Pearl, Opal, Myrtle, Maude & Beryl. That certainly wasn't the "name family" I was going for and they usually are right on. It seems that perhaps Olivia would be a better match, but that isn't a colonial name per se nor biblical either. And I like Ivy but does that go with a colonial/biblical name family? I've never seen Ivy in any colonial texts or records. Suggestions & thoughts? You all really have the gift for matching name styles!

I have a Genevieve Christina... I love it.. I had a Lileigh Sue also. That was my creative take on Lilly. Traditional, yet unique.

I think John Cactus is a fabulous name combo!

Mariah, I think that Martha would seem a likely sibling for Abigail, Caleb and Eliza. Martha has style, class, and a colonial and biblical connection.

Mariah, I think those are three fantastic names--each of them is both unique and traditional. I like the suggestion of Martha. Other names that make me think of colonial New England are Susannah, Hannah, Judith, Sophia, or, if you want to go out on a limb, Thankful (a very popular Puritan name that has a unique charm, especially as an alternative to overused virtue names like Grace).

I think Mercy goes well with Abigail, Caleb, and Eliza.

(Aren't Judith and Mercy sisters in "The Witch of Blackbird Pond"?)

What about the name "Campbell"? A friend of a friend named their daughter Campbell and I thought it was unusual until I was watching the Today show and the co-Anchor had the same name.

I love the names Mariah picked out! Martha is good, though I'd actually lean towards Anna or Esther if you're trying for biblical names. There's also Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel. I love the idea of the Puritan way - using the attributes like Mercy, Paitience, Prudence, Faith, Grace, etc. Hannah is also a great name that fits beautifully.

I think Olive is adorable - I had a roommate in college named Olive and she was the sweetest person! (she was named after her great Aunt Olive). Elizabeth is another option

Mariah-
I think your children's names are beautiful! For the next one, how about:
Martha
Ann
Mary
Rebecca
Susannah

On the issue of using a surname or maiden name as a middle name, I think this topic is somewhat slanted toward White, middle-class or upper-class folks. It seems upscale and trendy to use English or American surnames as first and middle names now, but my maiden name was Spanish, and it just didn't fit as a middle name for my husband and children's Polish last name, as much as I would have liked to keep the name in the family. I think it's harder to "match" ethnic middle names with more traditional male and female names. We ended up naming our daughter Julia Claire (which I love, by the way). We gave her my first name as a middle name, which flows nicely, but I'm still sad that she doesn't have any Mexican/Spanish component in her name. If we have a boy for #2, maybe we'll name him Henry Miguel after the two grandfathers. They are both first names (though Miguel is the Spanish version of Michael--dad's actual name), but I feel like the combination works better than using an ethnic surname in the mix.

In response to Mariah's post, I like the names Elizabeth, Rebecca, Sarah and Olivia (some biblical, some not - but all classic and beautiful in my mind). Sorry for the dissention here, but the name Martha doesn't have a nice ring for me.

Interesting point Claire. I have a friend who wanted to incorporate her husband's Burmese heritage into her daughter's middle name as it is a family tradition. Everyone in his family has a Burmese word for an element or jewel as their middle name. So instead of finding a surname to use as a middle name, she chose a Burmese 'word' and it is beautiful. Her name is Adlyn Mya Bwint (not sure if the spelling of Mya is correct, but it's close). I also think Miguel works wonderfully for a boy.

Thanks to JAN for beating me to the Reese Witherspoon mention.
CLAIRE, I urge you to reconsider. I think the mix of, in your case, Spanish and Polish names is a *perfect* way to show off the kids' ancestry. Since it is their actual, bona fide heritage (rather than all the Mackenzies who aren't Scottish, for example), it is a natural pairing. I love meeting people with name mixes like that, especially as a Catholic, where certain ethnicities are highly represented and then intermarry, like Polish, Irish, Italian, Latino (Spanish/Portuguese). Bear those names with pride.

I agree with CHRISTINE a bit about the use of male names, in part because it is robbing boys from what was already a smaller pool of names and also because it is now SO trendy that you just look like a sheep. I saw "Monster House" yesterday, and all the young actresses doing the voices had male names or surames for first names. Made me roll my eyes.

Wow...thank you for your wonderful suggestions & thoughts for a girl name that matches Abigail, Caleb & Eliza. I had not thought of Mercy! And I like the "th" in Judith, Martha & Esther. Though for some reason I can't get over the "edge" or "old lady" feel to Esther. Some people would surely say the same for my pick of Olive :)

If we were having a boy we would be all set! There are so many magnificent boy names that are both biblical and colonial (Levi, Gideon, Jude, Judah, Isaac, Ezra, Josiah, Jonas, Phineas, Gabriel, etc.) Why do the biblical names not seem colonial for a girl? Ex. Naomi? My husband likes that one but it doesn't seem to "fit".

Our littlest Eliza (1) is named after her great grandma Elizabeth so in our minds we already used that name. We didn't go with the full name of Elizabeth b/c we wanted Eliza to be a bridge b/w using biblical names and branching out to more colonial/ antique charm names. Everyone was starting to assume that we *had* to have a biblical name--we "rebelled" :)

I went to college with a couple of girls of half Cuban heritage (their father and his parents escaped Castro's regime) - in their family the tradition was to just add the mothers maiden name to the middle name, sometimes having as many as 4 or 5 middle names, all Cuban surnames. In their case, they opted to not give their children middle names so as to not have 5 family names as their legal names. However, they jokingly gave themselves their mother's maiden name and caled each other Jennifer Cole and jessica Cole.

I don't see why ethnic names can't be used as a middle name in a case where it is a family name. I knew a kid in high school who had been given his mother's maiden name as a middle name and was called Joseph Punzak (JP). When he got older, he just loved the different-ness of it and actually opted to be called "Punzak" on occassion.

Christiana,
I was wondering, in response to your post, if you recalled if your roommate named Olive had any brothers and sisters and what their names were? I don't know of anyone named Olive or Ivy so I am still trying to figure out the connotations of those names and if they match or clash in style with Abigail, Caleb & Eliza. Thanks for your previous helpful post/response!

Does anyone else know an Olive and/or Ivy and what their siblings names were? And if you don't actually know of anyone--what "name family" or sibling suggestions come to mind when you hear those names?

Mariah, I don't know any Ivys or Olives, but neither seems to fit with your children. Abigail and Caleb, in particular are quite popular, and I don't think Olive has bee in the top 1000 for decades, though I may be wrong. Ivy seems more victorian than colonial to me, but it's a gorgeous name.

How about Ruth? I think it's gorgeous, and she is my favorite biblical character. To me, Ruth represents a strong and giving character who is far ahead of her time. The name mirrors the woman, in my opinion, as it is strong and simple. It also means compassion, which is a lovely sentiment.

Or how about Patience? I'm not a huge fan of the nn Pat or Patty, but I don't think Penny or Pacey would be too much of a stretch.

And then of course, there is Grace. It may be popular, but it's far less so than Abigail, and it is so gorgeous. It was a common Puritan name, and it has religious connotations.

I went to school with a girl named Esther and everyone called her Esti, my sister was thinking of just the name Esti when she was pregnant, but ended up having a boy.

What about Virginia? Very colonial.

I know my friend Olive had siblings (she had a yours mine and ours family), but I only remember the name of her full brother, which was Eric. I remember her telling me that her mom said when they were looking for a name for her that she said "You're always talking about how wonderful your Aunt Olive was, let's just name her Olive." Her middle name was ELizabeth, which I thought went with it perfectly, but that doesn't help you much as you've already got Eliza. Or maybe it does.

How about Cherith? After the river in the story of Elijah? Or Keren, who was one of the daughters of Job.

What about Mary, or Marie?

If you have a boy and use Ezra, I'd think that's a bit too close to Eliza and people may just assume they were twins (if they only hear the names)

Mariah:
Sarah, Rachel and Deborah are also Colonial/biblical. Pretty common, I know, although I think Deborah is probably pretty rare for babies right now. personally, I like Grace best of all the suggestions...What an interesting topic!

Mariah, you have some good suggestions of biblical/colonial names. Fyi, Susannah is a biblical name -- go to Luke 8:3. Also might want to consider Joanna.

I think Charity or Felicity would also go with your names.

Mariah:
I love the name Ivy I think it is prtty and colonial. in the movie "the village" the lead character was named Ivy and that was based on colonial times. I think Ivy and Eliza sound fabulous together!

I am not very big on the puritan names. I always feel like on a modern child the practice would devolve into something like Faith Praise the Lord and her sister Grace I Can't Believe It's not Butter Jones.

Ha ha! That's funn Amy!

Wendy, I had just been thinking about the name Charity. It's great as far as the Puritan theme and goes with the Biblical idea, too.

thats an interesting idea to go to the cemetry to see older names never thought of that one. I like older names that are not common place today when I named my kids everyone would say thats different or wow modern, and its like they are anything but modern