The Baby Name Wizard

I grew up with a girl named Anna Rose (fn mn), and to this day my mother's relatives call her Mary Lou (although she refers to herself as Mary and introduces herself that way).

In addition I have known (or know of) a Mary Bl@ir, a Mary Sc@rlett, Mary B3th, Sarab3th, M3lina Liz (M3lina 3lizabeth) and an Ashleyanne, all in the Southern US. My impression is that double names are more common in the South than in other parts of the States.

Oh my goodness, EVie, I was certainly not referring in any way to your pronunciation! I'm so sorry if that's what it seemed like. I was thinking of people who would just say "SAIR-a" flat out even when the Sara and her friends would all say, at the very least, SAHR-a(rhymes with Car).

For those who have trouble with flipped R, the substituted D is a godsend.

But I don't even think the D is necessary; I think the heart of the name is the SAHR as opposed to SAIR, and that's what people should be conscious of.

The same double names that are common in Quebec are also quite common in France itself.

As far as pronounciation: I work with people from all over the world, so I come into contact with both unusual (to me) names and recognizable names with different pronounciations pretty regularly. My take is that we owe everyone a reasonable attempt to say their name as they say it. However, some sounds and combinations are hard to say if you didn't grow up with them, and I think we can be forgiven if a reasonable effort still yields a result that is not quite right. For names that are recognizable with a slightly different pronounciation - again, we owe them a reasonable effort, but it can be very tricky to remember the slight variations when we are so used to saying a name one way. I'm not sure we can reasonally be expected to spend hours practicing to say a name correctly no matter which category it falls into.

For what it's worth, it doesn't bother me at all when my name is turned into Sahr-ah or Sah-dah by someone who is used to saying it that way; in fact I find it kind of charming.

I just met a little girl (age 2 1/2) named
Em!ly Gr@ce MN LN. Her mom said they should have just called her "Emily" with the mn Grace, since "noboy calls her what we want anyway!" I'm doing my best to call her by her full name, but the urge is definitely there to nn to "Em", especially when you're having to call her 14 times to get her attention. :o)

Oh, and I also know an adult Lindajoy, who goes by LJ (no middle name).

Easternbetty - no problem at all, I just wanted to clarify because I realized the way I wrote it initially may have been ambiguous.

My first name is a variant of Helen, which is such an old and established name that pretty much every European language has at least one version of the name, often more. I have a lot of family members from France and Italy, and frankly, I prefer it when they pronounce my name the way they would in their language when they are speaking that language--to the point that I will actually introduce myself as that version of the name. It sounds so weird and unnatural for them to contort their vowels to try and say it with the "correct" pronunciation. I don't find that a foreign pronuncation, in the context of a foreign language, changes my identification with the name at all. The context does matter though--if a native English speaker speaking English called me Hélène, well, I would definitely correct them.

Thanks for the feedback on hyphenated first names. It seems the consensus is that a hyphen can be useful for helping people to say the entire name properly. In Trish's example, I wonder if naming her Em1ly-Gr4ce Mn Ln would have done the trick.

I knew someone named Mary Jane (I believe it was FN MN) when I was growing up. NO ONE called her anything but Maryjane. My friend's ds is Mya Rose (FN MN) and she is often called the whole thing because its pleasing. Yet I also have a cousin who named her ds Neil Dawson. He is never callled Neil and only referred to as Dawson. Also, I knew of someone named Mary Claire again I believe it was FN MN. She was until about age3 called both but then mostly now is Claire.

I think I would hypenate to get the double name. There are so many variations especially on the lets-name-them-this-but-call-them- another-name theme that you might have someone who really doesn't know WHAT to call the child i.e. If someone says "this is Mary Grace but we like her to be called Grace" then fine you know. But If they don't let you in on it you have no way of knowing if it should be Mary; Marygrace; or even Grace. Maybe its even a nn of Meg which they got from smushing the M+G together. The bottom line is-People will go with what they are used to when they READ the name until they are told differently.

One of my cousins is named Mary R3gina Ang3lina. She was called by her double first name until she became an adult, at which point she switched to Mary. Her younger sister is Rosemary Christin3, which is a little easier because her first name is spelled as one sister. Can you tell we're a Catholic family?!

Faygel means bird in Yiddish. It was a common Yiddish girl’s name. Many American immigrants who were named Faygel (or Faygle) took the English name Faye. There were/are lots of Bubbie Faye(s) in my neck of the woods.

Faygela (or Faygele or Feygle) is something akin to 'little bird'. But, some might more readily recognize is as unpleasant homophobic Yiddish slang for a gay man. It’s the equivilant to calling someone a fairy or saying someone is queer. (Which btw is not something I endorse or promote. It's mean. I'm just trying to point out a fact in Yiddish/Jewish culture)

Faygie is to me seems a little more adult and common. I'd never thought of it as a full name, but I guess it is used that way.

I love this name. I love the (technical) meaning and feel very conflicted about it. On one hand I feel that it is a lovely name that deserves rehabilitation. It doesn’t deserve to be associated with something as ugly as hate. My mother had a relative by this name.

And since I didn’t grow up with this kind of Yiddish slang in the home and it’s not the first thing I think of when I hear it.

But I’m not sure it can be rehabilitated.

Nicole: I have a friend FN Carrie, MN Ann. And I know she hated it that people would think her FN was Carrie Anne.

I also know a Sara Beth. I think she said Elizabeth was her middle name but because there was always another Sara(h) around, she ended up going by Sara Beth. She was a coworker and I believe we always called her Sara Beth.

Oh, I also know a Marilee that goes by Mari (Mary).
And I know a Maribeth that went by the whole thing. Or else MB.

Oh I also met a Mary Michael that was called that.

I have not read all the comments, but from what I've read, I don't understand why anyone would think a child would have to have his or her father's name. Because it seems to me that this is what those saying "because I want to have the same last name as my children" think. Sure its tradition, but you can have the same last name as your children without taking your husband's name.

I did change my own last name, but for very superficial reasons - his name was so much prettier than mine. I've asked him and he didn't care if I changed my name and would've been willing to even change to my last name if I wanted. Hell, when we got married, he was all gung-ho on making up a new last name for both of us (we live in California). Still kinda wants to.

Both of us are young-ish professionals (think about 6 years out of college). I'm the one of the only people in my age group that I know to have changed her last name, but then again I'm also one of the few to be already married.

Re: assumed pronunciations of names and not calling someone by the name they introduced.

My full name is Mandy. All too often, after I have introduced myself, people assume (wrongly) that my name is Amanda and call me as such.

Very nice write up. Realy usefull site.
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