The Wide World of Real Names
A baby name "expert" recently appeared on a national television program and talked about kids with wacky names...including twins named Lemonjello and Orangejello.
You might have heard of these twins before. They've been exclaimed over for decades, and reported on in such high-profile outlets as the book Freakonomics. In the world of names, they are legend! Literally. As in urban legends. They don't exist; they've never existed. Esteemed name researcher Cleveland Kent Evans has long offered a reward for anybody who could prove their existence, with no takers. But the story continues to spread.
Oh, I understand that the names are funny. What I don't get is why people keep recycling the same old fake names when real names are such rich territory. It's like marveling over a plastic flower when there's a huge garden blooming outside.
Last year alone, over 30,000 different names were given to five or more American boys or girls. Not chosen by a single unconventional family, mind you, but by a bunch of families in the span of just 12 months. Look within other years and you'll find tens of thousands more names. Some of them are variations on familiar names, like Naethan. Others are international names like Kenechukwu, or inventions and "mashups" like Dawnisha. And still others take their inspiration, like the alleged 'Jello boys, from the vocabulary of our wide world.
A small sampling of these meaning names is below. Some may make you laugh, but if so I hope it's in a good-spirited way. Think of them as a fabulous bouquet from America's naming garden. Remember that each of these names has been chosen, with love, by multiple American familes -- most of them dozens of times, some of them hundreds or even thousands of times. And amongst them you might just find names with so much verve they tempt you to name on the wild side.
Boys: Perfecto, Majestic, Supreme, Awesome
Girls: Marvelous, Gorgeous, Amazing, Delight
The High Life:
Boys: Chic, Money, Damoney
Girls: Wealthy, Ritzy, Classy, Luxe, Fashionette
The Dark Side:
Boys: Notorious, Danger, Demon, Lucifer
Girls: Satanya, Demonica, Diabolique
The Fan-Boy Dark Side:
Boys: Alucard, Draco, Darth, Lex, Kraven
Girls: Morticia, Harleyquinn, Mystique, Bellatrix
Girls: Tequila, Chardonnay, Sangria, Marijuana, Martini
Boys: Stellar, Dream, Seraphim
Girls: Nirvana, Fantasy, Fairy, Cinderella, Rapunzel
The Household Names:
Girls: Charmin, Aquanette, Velveeta
Boys: Ferrari, Lexus, Audi
Girls: Porsche, Infiniti, Acura, Corvette, Chevette
Boys: Dillinger, Gotti, Capone
The Less than Flattering:
Boys: Chubby, Buzzy, Dizzy, Gross
Girls: Rotunda, Jinx
The Scrabble Champion: