Agathon: Meaning, Popularity, Origin of Baby Name Agathon
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I once met a man at a dusty bar in Wyoming named Agathon, in 2007. I'll never forget him: steely blue eyes, a toothpick draping from his thin lips. He didn't say a word when he entered. Instead, he went around the room, and stared down every man in the bar, sometimes getting as close as two inches from a man's face. He never said a word, just stared silently, without blinking for as long as half a minute, until the man finally submitted, and looked away. Agathon would then mark his territory by spitting in your drink before moving on to the next person, and so on, until he reached the bar keep. There, he leaned over the counter, and helped himself to a full bottle of Wild Turkey, which he then proceeded to drink half of it in one long chain of gulps, finishing his display with a loud crash as he threw the half-spent bottle to the barfloor.
"I need $500 dollars. Do I have to kill everyone first, or am I just going to have to ask nicely?"
He laid his cowboy hat on the bar, and walked into the men's room. Through the half opened door, he turned around and warned us;
"When I come back, this hat better be stuffed with money."
Everyone could hear him using the restroom. It sounded as if he were dumping a 5-gallon bucket of water into the toilet. We all put what we had in his hat, and the barkeep paid the difference from his drawer. As he took his hat out the door, he turned around and said,
"My name's Agathon. And none of you will ever see me again. You remember that."
I went home, immediately changed my underwear, and proceeded to watch every single one of my wife's romantic comedy DVDs in the house for the rest of the weekend. I only hope Agathon never reads this, and returns to our town again.
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Agathon is the stage name of Charles Whitehouse, a semi-professional wrestler in the AA circuit of the Southern Wrestling League. His mantra is one of constant, horrific screaming, as he does this incessantly throughout his matches, without as much as a slight pause between enormous inhales. He is slightly overweight, and wears a black one piece spandex outfit, complete with a crimson red cape. His repertoire of moves is embarrassingly slim; aside from clothesline takedowns and dramatic elbow drops (which he does almost exclusively from the third turnbuckle), his only other move is his signature move: the Indian Armlock. It is a submission move, a blend between a standard grappling arm lock with an Indian burn incorporated for good measure. So far, his record stands an impressive 11-2, losing both times to the Swamp Thing for the SWL AA heavyweight title belt. He is projected to take the title later this year at the "Bayou Blowout" in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, this summer. Tickets are only $8. All ages are granted admittance, but any minors present must be accompanied by an adult at all times.
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Agathon was considered for a part as a write-in during the initial storyboard phase of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, as a Transformer aligned neither with the Autobots, nor the Decepticons. Initially, Agathon was to be the effort of the US Military's attempt at reverse engineering Optimus Prime, but would eventually become self-aware through a "convenient" shortcut of bypassing any ethical or moral rationalization in the Transformer's AI. It was believed that this would create a more capable warrior to protect humanity, but did little good, aside from occasionally, and temporarily distracting both sides from their war. At times, each side was forced to deal with Agathon's unceasing habit of launching near-suicidal onslaughts at anything that appeared to challenge it's dominance, regardless of whether the confrontation was reasonable, fair, or likely to result in anything but certain destruction for one side or the other.
The character was meant to be drafted as, "an all around superstar, who takes no prisoners, and plays by his own rules" in the Transformers lineup, with many other Transformers admitting (even to their mortal foes) that no single Decepticon, or Autobot could stop it. This resulted in some debate as to the fate of Agathon in the series. A scene was planned where, during a peak showdown between the warring factions, Agathon was to sweep into the fight senselessly and without abandon, attacking random hosts of pitted rivals, only to be unceremoniously mutilated in a temporary battlefield alliance, ridding both sides of a mutual annoyance. Eventually, the writers determined that the character, although interesting as a novelty side-plot, did little to advance the series' backstory, though it was rumored that Micheal Bay pushed for a more prominent role for this would-be addition to the Transformer's lineup.