Baby girl

Hey, having a girl, And gonna name her Kyle so what do you think?

just a little FYI we’re naming our bany girl after our son that passed away it was his middle name. 

thanks in advance 

Replies

1
April 7, 2019 5:47 AM

I think it would be suitable to name your daughter Kyla or Kylie and that would be nice too

2
April 7, 2019 6:16 PM

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. 

Honestly I think it would be a heavy burden for a child to grow up with the name of a deceased sibling, even more so in this case as she would be a girl with a clearly masculine name which means she would likely be asked fairly often why that name was picked and would have to explain it. I think using Kyle or a feminine version of it in the middle spot would be a perfect honour/link to your son, and as middle names are not widely used in everyday life it would be more private for her and allow her to control when and who she told the story/meaning to. 

If you are determined to make it her first name then I would agree with suzanne and urge you to use the female version of Kyla (or Kylie if you prefer) because I don't think it detracts from the honour but it gives her a name that is more her own (doesn't have the emotional baggage of being the exact name of her brother who passed) and also will not invite questions from friends or random strangers that she might not want to deal with. 

4
April 8, 2019 5:01 AM

This. I will add that I am a second child, the first child having died before I was born. I have to say that I am very thankful not to share a name with my deceased sibling. Concepts such as mortality and parental grief are extremely confusing when you are young, and I think it would have been difficult to separate my parents wanting to honour the first child with a suspicion that they wanted to replace her. As it was, I was plagued by the belief that I would likely not have been born if she hadn't died.

I think using Kyle or Kyla for a middle name is fine, but I would really hesitate to use it for a first name. I know this kind of thing was common in the past, but infant mortality was also much more common and names were not considered so personal in the past.

6
April 8, 2019 11:25 PM

I'm torn.

I think Kyle is okay for a girl; I do like the idea of wanting to honor your son and Kyla and Kylie are nice alternatives, but I really think Kyle can do it on its own.

On the other hand, I see what the others are saying about that being a lot for your little girl to live up to.

I think if it were up to me to make this choice, I'd probably give my daughter the middle name of Kyle and then choose something else as the first name.  Perhaps use the same initials, or maybe choose a name with a similar meaing to your son's first name?  This feels like an impossible choice to me.  Good luck!

7
April 9, 2019 5:41 AM

I agree that it's a heavy burden for a child to carry a dead sibling name.  Middle name spot, yes.  Or perhaps... Skyla?  That is pretty, incorporates Kyle but has a sky/heaven feel to it as well.

8
April 10, 2019 10:46 AM

I think that with the common connection between between death and heaven/the sky, Skyla could be an even more difficult name for a second child to live with because not only would it evoke the lost sibling, but also directly reference his death. 

9
April 11, 2019 10:58 AM

I am so sorry for the loss of your son.  But, congratulations on this new pregnancy!  How wonderful.  I strongly believe that this little girl should have her own name.  I think that it will be so important for her throughout her life.  She is her own person, and deserves her own name, both first and middle.  I don't think that her brother's name should appear in any way form in her name.  You will find other special ways to honor your son, and make sure that your daughter knows the wonderful things about her brother.  Give this new little angel her own, original special name!!!!  

 

Best wishes! :)

10
April 11, 2019 9:06 PM

I think there have been a lot of good points made. I thought I'd share the loss of baby sibling situations I know. It really doesn't apply to your situation, but maybe it's helpful to hear as you weigh your choice. 

I know a family that lost an infant sibling. Coincidentally, one of the sisters grew up and married a man whose family had also lost an infant sibling. They have two kids now and named each one for their siblings who passed. I think it was a meaningful way to honor their siblings and it's distant enough to the children that I don't think they'll have emotional baggage. 

I know a woman whose twin died in complications just after child birth. The parents had named the babies, but when one passed, they suddenly realized they wanted to switch the names. The surviving twin grew up with her sister's name and from what I can tell, there was baggage knowing that. 

In your case, Kyle is the middle name of your lost son, so that does distance it somewhat. If you do name your baby girl Kyle, I would just make sure that she learns of it in a way that she can grasp. 

11
April 14, 2019 7:38 PM

I've met female Kyles. But, I do think it's too much of a burden for this child to bear. Are there any other family members you'd want to honor? If you do want to put it somewhere in her name, maybe the middle name Kyla.