Female wants male trending unisex name

I'm female but I definitely prefer male trending unisex names (and I'm bi too). I do not want unisex names like Kelly or Leslie because males very rarely have this name.

It's not for official use, but personal use. As in my passport will not have the name but what everyone will call me.

I have gone by the following names the past 3 years (since I started doing this) but nothing truly sticks.

Joey,Shawn,Alex,Sacha,Evan,Julian.

All these names are listed as unisex on at least one website, or I have found posts saying they liked it for females or by an actual female who had the name saying they liked it, or a historical feminine use of the name. That's pretty much the criteria for me. It doesn't deter me if only 1/5 websites say it can be used for females. In fact, I actually love that.

I've never posted anywhere before by the way, I was name searching alone.

I'm posting today because well, I don't know, but nothing sticks and I feel I want a different/better name. Why can't I find a name that I really like? 

I'm trying to pick through these names at the moment: (and again, more picks that appear on at least one unisex list)

Adrian

Charlie

Tyler

Devon

Pat

Andy

Wallace

So, please? Any input on which ones I should use? Or new suggestions? I really hope this time I can pick a name I really like that last for at least several years, if not, my lifetime.

I have experienced people poking fun at my name and such, I DON'T CARE. Please don't tell me not to choose a name because I'll get picked on or something. It's perfectly understandable when you tell expecting parents to not name their baby that because the baby has no choice. The only abnormal about me is that I can't find a name that sticks.

Replies

1
April 14, 2016 4:21 PM

In the current naming environment, ANY name is fair game for girls. There are celebrity daughters named Maxwell and James. Yes, James. So the "unisex" label (or its absence) is totally irrelevant to the question.

(Going the other way -- giving a boy a name that is perceived to have "gone girl" -- is still a fairly major taboo. Think about what that means about our society's gender values.)

Thinking just in terms of the principle of the thing, rather than personal style, any surname-name that's based on a placename should be inherently unisex. However, history has a way of attaching strong gender expectations to names, whatever their source, so you really can't use a -ly placename (Beverly, Kimberly, Shirley, Ashley) as a unisex name, any more. A -ton ending is still masculine-leaning (especially if the name as a whole has two syllables: Boston, Exton), while -s can go either way (Douglas vs. Lourdes).

Another class of names that has no inherent gender is noun-names or word-names. If the word is rare enough as a name, then history will not have had a chance to attach any expectations to it, and it can be classified as unisex: Spark, Blue, Knowledge, Lumen. Plant-names, especially flowering plants, are historically feminine, as are many month-names (so much so that many people erroneously think that August is feminine), while stone/rock is generally masculine (but not gemstones).

So, some suggestions: Sage, Julian, Garnet, Waverly, Maylis, Nova, Melrose, Sinclair.

2
April 14, 2016 4:41 PM

Taylor, Schuyler, Robin, Aubrey

4
April 17, 2016 12:01 PM

One of the blog posts here (which I'm failing to find on a search) suggested that one way to help affirm a name choice was to think about all the things you like about the name -- everything about it that makes you happy.

 

You have a very firm initial criterion: unisex name with an unmistakeable male-leaning cohort.

 

So: what do you like about the names on your list? What appeals to you about them BESIDES the initial criterion?  If the answer is "not much", take them off. 

5
April 20, 2016 3:30 AM

From your list, I like Wallace a lot. It's unusual, and Wallis Simpson definitely keeps the name as being plausibly unisex for me, but it still skews very strongly male.

Some ideas that tend towards the more vintage unisex style of Wallace: Hollis? Merle? In the masculine names that have some of the courtly old-fashioned feel of Julian: Ambrose? Laurence? Alphonse? I also know female Jasper and Caedmon, both adult, too, for what it's worth, and while that raised my eyebrows at first I quickly adjusted, so I think really you can consider pretty much any masculine name.

I would perhaps try out names by using them in low-stakes, one-time situations like ordering coffee and just see how it feels to identify yourself by the names you're considering. Try them out a bit and see if any feel more or less natural and right as "you".

I'd also consider if there are any (sound or meaning) similarities to your original name that you can use to try to cull the field of possible new ideas, in the hopes that this might help the new name stick better as a part of your self-identity... at least if your birthname is still stuck to your self-image of you even though you don't like it.

Alternatively, if you can have a meaning behind your new choice (honoring a particular historical figure or fictional character or some idea that is meaningful to you), that also might make it more sentimental and thus more lasting.

Good luck, and I hope we can hear an update from you as the owner of a new name that fits comfortably enough to see you through many happy years ahead!