Help with Boys Name

We used the only boy name we can agree on with our son Nolan. We we're due in December and its a boy as well. We're lost. We can't agree. The middle name will be James. And flow right with Markley as the last. Our list consists of 

Henry, Carter, rylan, wyatt, damon, alec, deacon, Kylen, connor, Daniel, and Andrew. 


July 5, 2018 10:23 PM

I think Nolan and Carter/Connor go well together  or Wyatt/Alec.  Andrew and Daniel are nice too.  The others either rhyme with your surname or end with n and similar to Nolar

others Leo, Cooper, Lewis, Parker, Sawyer, Xavier, Jasper, Jared, Lucas, Marcus, Asher, Emmett, Bennett, Mitchell, Patrick, Maxwell, Gilbert, Fraser, Harlow

July 6, 2018 3:46 AM

I think it would be helpful to know what are the stumbling blocks, because sometimes it's a question of figuring out HOW to find a name that you both agree on, rather than listing names themselves.  For example:

-- If you have different STYLES of names, then we could help you brainstorm some crossovers.  For example, if husband likes contemporary trendy names and wife hates them, preferring antique classics.  But knowing what the broad categories are can help us find some boundary-crossers.  One example from this board from a few months back was husband insisted on ONLY standard Catholic saint names whereas wife liked names that were glamorous and funky and unusual.  Another dilemma in my personal life: my friend was insistent on nature names (very strong preference for flowers/plants) whereas husband was insistent on 'normal' names.  Finding a 'normal' flower name not difficutl for a daughter, but posed dilemmas for baby #2 - a son.  (ultimate compromise was they gave their boy the masculine version of her mom's name.  NOT a flower, but soemthing that was very much HER).  I know the clashing-criteria thing can be tricky.  I have an ex who loved J names.  I have a strong Irish identity and only want Irish names.  Problem: no J sound in Irish.  We never had kids together, but this would have been tricky to work around.

-- One parent vetoes all the other parent's ideas without offerring a lot of alternatives of their own.  In this case soem sort of game or activity might do the trick. 

Example #1: each of you make a list of 10 names and then swap.  Assuming that none are in common, each of you delete five (and only five) names from the other's list.  Then add five more to your own.  Either keep going until you somehow find one on both your lists, OR after X number of rounds, you start going "hey Everett's survived my list for like 10 rounds so she must like it too."

Example #2: This one is good for a scenario where one partner is totally indecisive and the other has a laundry list of names they like.  Write down names on separate index cards.  Show TWO and only two cards at a time.  They can keep one (say Max) and reject the other (Robert).  Robert is discarded.  Now it's Max versus next card (Leon).  This time Leon wins!  Now it's Leon versus next card, etc etc.  By the time you reach the end of the cards you should have a winner.

Example #3: One partner is totally fixated on a name ("I have always wanted a son named Henry") and other partner happens to completely hate that name.  AGain, knowing the underlying WHY issues behind the name may be helpful in finding alternatives.


Finally, it may be helpful to simply make peace with the fact that naming the child will involve compromise, with one person happier than the other.  You might not both love the same name equally, or get exactly what you want.  And it's not the end of the world.




July 12, 2018 7:07 PM

This was a really helpful post. Thanks

July 6, 2018 12:01 PM

Firstly, I like most of your current list and think they would all work well with Nolan. I do wonder if you meant to type Kylen or Kyle, though. Kylen is definitely a very made-up name IMO, but I think Kyle fits well with the rest of your list. I also think James works well as a middle name for each, with the exception of Henry- only because of the author Henry James (tbh a LOT of people would probably never even recognize this or care, but I do). 

What do YOU feel like are your front-runners? Any names that you both feel are at the top or bottom of your list? How are you discussing and deciding on names? 

July 9, 2018 1:11 PM

I think we have it narrowed down to Patrick, Noah, Camden, Christian, Ryan, and Emric.

July 9, 2018 4:54 PM

Patrick and Ryan are my two favorite names overall. They flow very nicely with your intended middle and last name.

July 12, 2018 4:30 AM

I think Noah is awfully similar to Nolan so I'd probably be less likely pick that.  Ryan is probably the most popular of your above options, and significantly more popular than Nolan, if that is a consideration.  I think Camden fits well in style. Patrick I've always liked and it also works well with Nolan, but in a different way.  Christian I like, although consider whether it will bother you if it gets shortened to Chris?  Emric is traditionally spelt Emeric and is the French form of the German Emmerich.  To me Emric, looks like a creative or misspelling, although Emeric is usually pronounced Em-reek, which is probably what you are going for anyway?  It's a name I quite like and I think it works well with Nolan but just be aware of the spelling issue.   

July 13, 2018 6:16 PM

I like Noah but find it too similar to Nolan to use on brothers. From the rest of your list I would pick Patrick, it definitely gives me a strong Irish/Celtic feel with Nolan but I like it and think it goes well. I also like Ryan (ditto on the Celtic vibe) and Emric (I'd go with the Emeric spelling, but I can see how that might lead to people saying Em-er-rik if they're unfamiliar with it). Camden is really NMS, and living in London I can't disassociate it with the place and Christian is a bit bland for me, although I do think it works fine with Nolan.