Husband and I have decidedly different naming styles

My husband and I have completely different styles. We're having a baby boy, I love the name Cassius, he does not. He loves Blake, I don't. We (I, previous relationship and I picked the name) have a Julian already. What names meet in the middle here? 


September 13, 2018 4:43 PM

Has he given you any preferences other than Blake?  Does he go for surnames, short names, one of the particular sounds (bl-, long a, k)?  Do his other favorites lean cowboy, lean preppy?

I can get somewhat a sense of your taste from Julian and Cassius - classics with ancient Roman influence.

A couple thoughts - Marcus, Max, Quinton, Lucan, Austin.  Each has Latin connections without being full-on Caesar.

September 13, 2018 4:45 PM

Perhaps you meet in the middle at classical names that tend towards a little more gladiator? Blake always makes me think of the poet so it's a bit of a romantic age kind of name for me, in addition to a little bit cowboy.

Would the nickname of Cash for Cassius help sell it more? It has echoes of country (thanks, Johnny Cash!), so it actually should work as a Blake-Julian overlap name. I have long loved Cassius and I love it even more since I saw the phenomenal "Sorry To Bother You" in theaters. (The protagonist is Cassius Green, as in Cash is Green. It's the best movie I've seen in a very long time and I'm hoping it might give the name a little revival in next year's SSA stats. Certainly no harm in taking your husband to go see it, beyond the risk of injury from laughing too hard.)  

Perhaps you both might enjoy Leonidas/Leo? Or Evander? Or Peregrin with the nickname of Perry? Perhaps Arthur, with Art as a nickname option? Try Maximus/Max? Jasper is another one that sits at the intersection of courtly and hick, maybe Virgil?

I could be offbase in this read, so if there are just a few other examples of his style, that could help me pinpoint venn diagram overlap better. You clearly like smooth classical names with international portability.

September 13, 2018 4:54 PM

Oh, and my eldest has a Julian-variant name, so I want to to recommend Wilfred with the nickname Wolf to you. It might be simultaneously too cowboy/macho for him and too musty-vintage for you, but I have loved the package of on-trend nature/surname nickname with super-fusty knight name (we got it from rereading Ivanhoe). It is getting to have All the Things in one name, and it's a nickname that smoothly coexists with the full name in regular rotation. 

September 13, 2018 4:56 PM

Actually, you might consider whether Rip as a nickname for Rupert might fulfill some of the same. We had less luck getting that one to stick, but apparently my naming style is macho word-type nicknames and fusty-courtly full names. 

September 13, 2018 5:54 PM

His style is definitely preppy. Logan, Chase. He hasn't given me much more to work with.

September 13, 2018 7:55 PM

You do have rather distinctly different styles!  I'm not sure exactly where the middle ground might lie, but here are a few tries - Xavier, Desmond, Duncan, Ronan, Orion, Finley, Seth, Wesley, Rhys.  Did I get anywhere close?

September 14, 2018 10:09 AM

Responding to this particular post because my first (6 yo) is named Desmond (middle name Magnus) and he loves his name! We call him Des. People compliment his name all the time. My partner and I had the relatively easy time coming up with a name with him. This second one, NOPE. I empathize a lot with OP. My partner hates the names I like, and I don't care for his. His name choices are all in the top 5. I really want to find something similar to Desmond in that it is not common but not unusual. Six weeks away from baby's due date and we don't have names picked out (baby's gender is a surprise). One thing that has helped, however, is I used an online poll creator to create a personalized survey of names. This included a list of names for ranking in order or least favorite to favorite, and giving each name a score out of 10. We haven't picked a name YET, but it's made it easier to find common ground. It's worked better than "do you like this name, yes or no" because there are names that he wouldn't choose that do have something he likes about them. Hope that helps!

September 13, 2018 7:54 PM

I think my own naming style is cowboy/antique so maybe I can get you to that venn diagram space you’re looking for! Are you only looking for boys names?

Some of my personal favourites: Jem (could lead to a variety of courtly full names), Alexander and its many variants and nicknames (like Alexandri), Jed (Jedidiah, Edmund, Edward, etc.), Abner, Charlot, Judd (traditionally from Jordan, you could probably expand to an eostoric George variant), Virgil, Jeb (Jacobus and other Jacob variants, JEB initials, etc.)

I’m really enjoying this naming challenge, but I’m not sure if I’m totally missing the mark. 

September 13, 2018 9:09 PM






Alexander, Benjamin, Reuben, Elliott, Leo, Oscar, Theodore, Tobias, Rufus, Rupert, Christopher, Marcus, Edgar, Edmund, Callum, Lachlan, Casper, Raphael, Lloyd, Floyd, Lincoln Mitchell Wallace Cameron Eric Derek Heath Lewis Duncan Graham Grant Gavin Nolan Owen Roland Vaughan Rhett Rhys Miles Stewart Robert Victor Vincent Wyatt Thomas Timothy Ronan Rowen Finley Riley Michael Ethan Anthony Alastair Angus Bryce Evan Hamish Maxwell Austin Kyle Nathaniel Adrian Christian Martin Rex Cody Edward Mason Wesley Damon Damien Franklin Harrison

September 14, 2018 11:10 AM

You characterize his taste as preppy; based on Cassius and Julian, yours could be characterized as classicist. Preppy names tend to be either English surnames-as-given (Blake, Logan, Prescott) or given names that are also familiar as English surnames (Chase, Asher, Percy). Perhaps some overlap could be found by looking for English surnames (especially unmarked patronymics) with a classical/Roman feel or association?

Ambrose; Atticus; August or Austin; Calvin; Evander; Horace; Jude; Lucian; Macsen, Magnus or Max (or Maxton or Maxwell); Quintus; Terence.

September 14, 2018 5:11 PM

Augustus was the first thing that jumped to mind.  Possibly with the nickname of Gus?  


I feel your pain; my husband doesn't even really seem to HAVE a style.  He just shoots down everything until I come across something that piques his interest.  When that happens, you can almost see the light flicker on in his eyes.  It's nuts.  Our first baby was a snap.  Middle son took longer.  Third son, I had to join a forum for help and even then I was afraid he wouldn't have a name til college.  *eyeroll*