Jessa and Ben's child's name???

I moved this to a different topic.


By HarryPotterFan7896 (not verified)
September 29, 2015 7:12 PM

I just wanted to note that in the other forum I made that was titled this, QLexE posted a comment that had SO many swears in it that while I read it my jaw was dropped. Really? I'm 12 years old, and it's not like I don't know about that stuff, but I just can't believe it. There are posters on here that are younger than me. Lex, PLEASE do NOT post anymore things with swears in them. I understand what you mean without them. They aren't needed. 

September 29, 2015 8:39 PM

Hi, HarryPotterFan7896.

Since you mention that you are 12 years old, I wanted to point out that your account on this site is in violation of terms of use, which you can find here: 

Specifically, I'm looking at the part that says: "The Service is for people over 13 years old. If you are aged 14 - 18, please make sure your parent knows you are using"

By HarryPotterFan7896 (not verified)
September 29, 2015 9:19 PM

I'm almost 13, I'll be 13 on Sunday. And my parents know that I'm on here. 

September 29, 2015 9:24 PM

You'll note that you need to be 14 to have an account with parent permission.

By HarryPotterFan7896 (not verified)
September 29, 2015 9:25 PM

Alright I'll do that.

September 30, 2015 2:28 AM

I'm not sure what you mean by "Alright, I'll do that," exactly. That your profile now suggests that you've automatically aged a year is a little suspicious... you'd been saying that you're 12-almost-13 for some time.

I completely understand that it's important for kids not to give away too much identifying information in online forums, so I think it's great that you're using Luna instead of your real name, and not giving out too many details about your real-life location and age. But this situation is raising some red flags for me, and I want to make sure that you're okay and that you have age-appropriate supports in place.

September 30, 2015 11:13 AM

Frankly since by her own admission this poster is in violation of an important clause of the terms of service, perhaps an IP ban should be considered.

By Eko
September 30, 2015 1:42 PM

Shouldn't "over 13 years" mean 13 and up? Someone who is 13 years and a week for example, is over 13 years. 

September 30, 2015 2:03 PM

i just checked and it says that you have to be at least 14 years to sign up

September 30, 2015 10:20 AM

Not for nothing, but I sincerely doubt this person is a kid.  Everyone should just stop responding to his/her posts, he/she is clearly a troll.

By HarryPotterFan7896 (not verified)
September 30, 2015 3:28 PM

I'm seriously not lying about being 12 years old. Today is my sister Sophia's birthday (she's turning 18!), but not that that has to do with anything, but are you guys really going to not respond to my posts and forums??? :(

September 30, 2015 3:48 PM

It basically comes down to this: if you moderate yourself, the moderators and administrators will not feel the need to take action. If you continue to act like a small child who's high on helium, our patience will quickly wear thin.

The people who frequent these forums generally enjoy discussing names -- that's why we're here! -- but we prefer more meat than fluff in our discussions. Things like "do you like these names" or "is this name cute/spunky/strong" are completely opinion-based, and while it can be interesting to occasionally discuss the reasons behind people's varying opinions, incessantly asking for opinions (in twenty new threads per day, all of them variations on the same theme) is not interesting.

September 30, 2015 3:53 PM

Ha! I love your way with words... " like a small child who's high on helium" made me laugh out loud (quietly, so as to avoid waking my sweetly sleeping newborn!) :-)



By HarryPotterFan7896 (not verified)
September 30, 2015 4:32 PM

Well you guys are just trying to say that my forums are boring and not needed? I have a lot of questions about names and I just really want to know about them (names) as much as everyone else does. What do you mean, "like a small child who's on helium"??? I'm really confused right now, to be honest....

September 30, 2015 5:15 PM

It's great that you're excited about names, and want to learn more about them, as that's why most of us are here, too.

One thing that can help is if you do some of the research on your own--I know folks have given you links to helpful sites in the past, and it can be frustrating when you seem to ignore these in favor of starting a new thread.

For example, if you're curious about pronunciation of a name, check it out on Forvo (or even YouTube). You don't need us to go look it up on Forvo for you.

Similarly, name origins can generally be found on Behind the Name, and if you just want to know thumbs-up or thumbs-down on a name (or a bunch of names) there are websites set up for exactly that kind of poll.

Also, it's usual on this forum to stick with one thread for related topics--most folks don't start more than two or three threads in a week at the very most, especially within a single sub-forum.

For example, if you have a thread going about French names and someone suggests a particular set of names that you like, it's fine to ask for opinions about those names in that same thread, rather than starting a new one. This helps keep repeated information and questions to a minimum, and also helps keep other threads that need attention from getting pushed off the page.

By HarryPotterFan7896 (not verified)
September 30, 2015 6:19 PM

Thanks nebides- will do. So from now o you might not see as many forums from me....

October 1, 2015 1:08 AM

Luna, are you familiar with and their forums? I mention it because they tend to have more opinion-based discussions on there, and I have the feeling that many of the members are younger and playing with name combinations like you are. It could be a good, additional, place fir you to hang out (as in, save the serious, meaty conversations for here and get enthusiastic about great combinations there.

September 30, 2015 8:32 PM

Can I still see the original version of this topic?  It looks like comments are only viewable on people's individual pages. 

October 1, 2015 4:27 AM

I've had that same issue the past few weeks with only that thread. Refreshing the page or clicking the thread through the comments on the profiles used to help, but now it doesn't.

October 1, 2015 6:52 AM

We (the mods) decided to delete it because the thread had devolved into name-calling, profanity, and ugliness. Three cheers for the BNW community: that's the only time in 10 years that something like this has ever happened!

ETA: We had a discussion about censorship and do not plan to delete posts based on content unless they slander other members of the site. Other mods, feel free to chime in.

October 1, 2015 7:13 AM

It's for the best. When I made the initial (first) comment, I never expected the thread to get out of control the way it did. Although I myself was careful not to use profanity/attack other members (because I don't think it's right at all), I feel partly responsible for it. My sincere apologies.

October 1, 2015 4:33 PM

It would be good to add a comment on the thread about that, if it is possible to have only one comment visible.  I thought BNW was broken, until I tracked down what some people had said in their profiles. 

October 1, 2015 12:42 PM

Weatherly, the comments were disabled because things got a little heated, and but there were also comments made that were very trivializing of sexual/child abuse which are potentially very upsetting for people who have a personal history with that kind of violence. Those comments justifiably touched a major nerve with some regulars, and I suspect if we left them up, they'd continue to do so with many other people who read the forums. Domestic violence against women and children is far more common than I'd like to believe.

I want to be very clear that my motivation in taking down the comments has less to do with protecting TOS-violating users from the occasional use of profanity, and more to do with protecting people from having really horrific parts of their personal pasts flippantly dismissed in potentially damaging ways.

October 1, 2015 6:38 PM

nedibes and lucubratrix:

That makes sense.  Thanks for the explanation. 

October 1, 2015 2:27 PM

Just a little more technical info--I originally blocked comments, which seemed to make the comments unreadable but as some folks noticed noticed still let them show under some circumstances. I made that decision on my own after seeing the escalation of the thread (for the reasons lucubratrix expressed as well as just to let things cool) and then immediately emailed the rest of the mods, and we had further discussion amongst ourselves and agreed collectively that the thread should stay down.

October 2, 2015 4:30 PM

It's good the thread was closed. It was really getting a bit out of control as it upset quite a few members (including me). It's just a very sensitive topic. Anyway, it's probably for the best this way.

Luna's username doesn't appear in any of her topics/comments anymore, instead it just says "guest". Does anyone know anything about that? Or was it because she was too young for this forum?

October 2, 2015 7:14 PM

I don't know if she deleted her account or the mods did, but I have a feeling she has created a new one, based on the content of a new thread on the Ideas board. 

October 2, 2015 7:39 PM

Is the new account (you suspect) ilovethegang5674?

October 2, 2015 8:05 PM

Yes, and she has confirmed it in the comments. 

October 2, 2015 7:17 PM

I used the contact us link at the bottom of the page to ask the people who run the forum (cafemedia) for help in this situation, explaining that we moderators were unsure about how to proceed in what we felt was a delicate situation with a very young poster seeking what was perhaps a slightly uncomfortable amount of attention on the site. (My contacting them was not related to the Duggar kerfluffle except inasmuch as that Luna was asking for particular accommodations of her young age, which drew my attention to her exact age and caused me to have a look at the terms of service.)

The Cafemedia team had a meeting to discuss the issue amongst themselves and came to the conclusion that the terms of service needed to be enforced, so they disabled Luna's profile. (They did not appear to institute an IP ban, so I suppose it's possible we may be seeing more of the this user under a different account.)

They did add that they would welcome any forum members drawing to their attention to any other behavior violating the terms of service in the future, so I encourage you to keep the microscopic links in the bottom in mind, should you need them.

October 2, 2015 8:04 PM

It looks like she's back doing exactly what she was asked not to do:asking for random opinions of the same random names. She's still in violation of the terms of service, and she apparently didn't get the message when her account was disabled. Previous experience indicates that she isn't ready for participation on this site. I personally have worried about her lack of discretion about her personal circumstances. Time for an IP ban? There is a reason for the age restrictions in the T of S.

October 3, 2015 2:19 PM

Miriam, I've written to the cafemedia team to implement that. I expect it might take some time, though, given that it is currently a weekend.

October 3, 2015 1:36 PM

ATTENTION MODS: Luna commented on Need a Sibling Name Pronto in the Ideas Forum, wherein she disclosed her surname and the OP's surname. The OP would rightly like said comment removed so that the thread isn't Googleable. 

I hope the mods are still checking this thread. I'm commenting here in case the mods do not pick up on the indiscretion. Sorry for typing in all caps, but I think this is an notable breach of privacy, although it doesn't break TOS as far as I know.

October 3, 2015 1:41 PM

NoakQuade- the mods fixed it already. Just a few minutes ago? Who knows. But they fixed it and that's that.

October 3, 2015 2:21 PM

NoakQuade, thank you so much for drawing this to our attention. I confess to finding the deluge of posts to be quite overwhelming and had not been following them all. Nedibes was already on this, happily, and masked the surname very quickly.

Generally, I really appreciate that the forum has been so on top of trying to deal with this very difficult situation. Thank you, all.

October 3, 2015 3:43 PM

I really am sorry about all I've done, and I hope I can still be a member of BNW. I love it here. Before I found this website, I was serching and serching for a website that could answer all my questions about names. Then I came across the name Everleigh, on Baby Name, and fell in love. I then looked up "meaning of name Everleigh" on google, and came to this website for help. That was over two years ago. And now I'm so close to being just makes me sad. I really like it here. I hope everyone forgives me for everything that I did (that was wrong), and that we can be happy to talk only about names again.


October 3, 2015 3:51 PM

At the moment, I am confused about the mods. Who are they? Are they people who work for BNW? I had a feeling.... are Elizabeth T., lubratrix, nebides, ect.???

October 3, 2015 5:23 PM

The mods are NOT people who work for BNW. We are a couple of longstanding users who got access to deleting posts and making edits to posts in response to there being a flood of spam hitting the forums. The spam was so prolific that it rendered the forums unusable for a while, so there needed to be some users who were able to delete it. A couple of people volunteered by using the "Contact us" link to take on that task. To my knowledge, they are Elizabeth T., nedibes, HungarianNameGeek, and myself. We are not paid or compensated in any way whatsoever for our cleaning up of the forums.

The Baby Name Wizard website partnered with Cafe Mom some time ago, and as a result, the forums are administered by CafeMedia. Those administrators are a company and they do have paid employees. You can contact them and Laura Wattenberg, the founder of BNW, via the "contact us" link at the very bottom of the page.

October 3, 2015 6:38 PM

To be clear, we (the mods) didn't ban you. The admins, who do get paid, made that decision, just like they made the rules for the TOS.

It is highly likely that they will continue to ban you, since you continue to be in violation of the rules. Since they are paid, that probably won't happen outside of business hours, but come Monday they will be back on the job.

October 3, 2015 5:26 PM

I wholeheartedly accept your apologies, Luna, and I mean you no ill will. I share your feelings that this is a fun and special place. I still think that because you cannot have an account without violating the terms of service, due to your age, this forum is not the right place for you at this time in your life.

October 3, 2015 6:14 PM

I have one more question, lucubratrix- are you still going to ban me?

October 3, 2015 6:38 PM

As explained above, I cannot "ban you" myself - the only thing I can do differently from other users is edit and delete posts. I did, however, write to CafeMedia using the contact link about the fact that you opened up a new account, and they will take whatever action they see fit.

October 3, 2015 8:46 PM

Well I'm gonna miss talking about names with you guys :(

Question, lucubratrix- how did you get to be a mod?

October 4, 2015 2:37 AM

I describe the story above, but please don't tell me you are going to try to become a mod with a subsequent profile that you set up, Luna. The constant removing of your accounts is because you are too young to legally be here for the time being. You need to find more appropriate online spaces for you.

October 4, 2015 8:12 AM

Luna, you don't seem to have an appreciation of how dangerous the internet is. Please talk to your parents and other trusted adults about this! There are people on the internet looking for people like you. It's sad, but these people seek for children and teenagers who are trusting and looking for friends. They will pretend to be your friend and will eventually suggest getting together. These meet ups will seem totally harmless, because the people will present themselves as being your age, and because you will have been "friends" with them for a while. You will think that they know you, care about you, and have your best interests at heart. They don't. Trust me on this. 

The situation I've described above is why the members of the BNW are concerned about you. You have shown yourself to be very trusting and naive when it comes to the internet. THIS IS DANGEROUS! I don't suspect that anyone on this site would be doing this, as discussions of baby names don't typically draw out men who prey on young girls, but I don't know that for certain. Please read up on appropriate behavior online and speak to trusted adults about this (your teachers, older relatives, etc.).

October 4, 2015 8:58 AM

I feel I need to point out that, Luna, that you have already divulged enough personal information for a predator to find you with relative ease if he so desired.  The mods have deleted your information, but nothing on the Internet ever really goes away. I agree that BNW is not predator central, but other sites you might visit might be. If any stranger from the Internet tries to contact you personally, ignore that attempt and report it to someone in authority, no matter how innocent and friendly that person may seem.

October 4, 2015 9:46 AM

Elizabeth T., you said this much better than I could.

October 4, 2015 8:40 AM

lucubratrix, you're very welcome. It's the least I could do, as I feel largely responsible for the original Duggar thread going out of control (my first comment sparked the dispute and I added fuel to the fire by continuing to reply). Thanks to nedibles, my warning was unnecessary.

I was of course concerned for Luna as well as the OP. Since that was an editing job specifically and not in of itself worthy of account-banning, this would be accounted as mod's work, yes? I'm asking to be sure I alerted the right people.

October 4, 2015 12:20 PM

Oh, and I didn't turn down every suggestion of websites. I made an account for and I made a forum there.