Me and hubby can't agree/decide!!

I have loved the name Lily for a girl since childhood. My cousin had a baby last month and named her Lily.... Errr

My husband asked me to honor him by naming our little girl Ruby after his grandmother who he adored. I'll admit, I'm not crazy about the name. 

I still want Lily and he wants Ruby. I also like Annabelle. Belle was my great grandmother's name and Anna is part of my name (Savannah). 

Our thoughts are...

Ruby Annabelle (no Lily)

Ruby Lilybelle

Annabelle Ruby (again no Lily, but at least I get the pick for first name)

Lily Annabelle (no Ruby)

Please help!! Any thoughts or suggestions!

Replies

1
January 8, 2015 3:50 PM

Have you considered combining both grandmother's names?

Lily Rubelle? (Rubelle is a red coloring used in enameling and has latin roots meaning somewhat red).

You could also try similar names to Lily - Libby, Lynsey, Lacy, Lilibeth, Lili, Lila, Lillianna.

Or perhaps something keeping with the fauna theme - Ivy, Iris, Juniper, Rose, Violet, Poppy, Daisy, Laurel, Willow, Hazel, Astrid, Jasmine, Flora, Fern, Holly, Dalia, Cassia, etc. Annalise is also a cute name that could fit.

Out of the list you posted, my favorite is Annabelle Ruby although Lilybelle would be incredibly unique and it is very pretty to say.

2
January 8, 2015 6:08 PM

Um, fauna names would include things like Fawn, Lark, Raven, Leona/Leonie, Ariel/Arielle (lion), Ayala/Ayalet (doe), Deborah (bee), Rachel (ewe), Robin, Ursula (bear), Branwen (raven), etc.

Astrid is neither flora nor fauna.  It is a Germanic bithematic name in which the first element means god and the second element means beautiful, beloved.

 

3
January 9, 2015 2:07 AM

with the flora theme*

Hazel, Aster, Jasmine**

 

Excuse my ignorance :)

4
By mk
January 8, 2015 2:34 PM

Ruby is very pretty. Ways to use both:

Lillian Ruby, call her Lily:  I don't think having family members with the same name is a big deal.

Ruby Lily:  I think this sounds pretty. I don't really like Lilybelle.

Ruby Lillian

 

5
January 8, 2015 3:04 PM

Your post reminds me of the mash-up name I keep expecting to see somewhere: Rubella, for Ruby Isa/Anabella. Sounds pretty, horrible meaning.

I like the suggestion of Lillian or Lillianna Ruby, or Annabelle Ruby (whichever you prefer); you could save Belle or some variant for another child. I admit I think the parent who isn't passing along a surname should have slightly more input on the first name, so if she will have your husband's last name I think it would be fair for you to pick the first so long as he doesn't hate it (my husband actually took my last name, so that's not an entirely self-serving philosophy).

I never really loved the name Ruby, but have a (college) student now who's great and that has given me a greater fondness for the name. Maybe if you think about some of the positives of the name it would help you feel better about it? For example, it would be fun to be able to give her special jewelry with her namesake (or a facsimile thereof), it will give your husband warm fuzzies, it's not-too-popular but coming back into style, it's easy to spell and pronounce, etc.

If you decide you want to go ahead and use Lily, it might be wise for family harmony to discuss it with your cousin first. Not exactly asking permission, but more sharing how much you have always loved the name and looked forward to naming a daughter Lily and how you think it will be a special bond for the 2nd cousins. Hopefully that will ward off any appearance of name-stealing, and if it looks likely to start WWIII in your family you can always change your mind.

Good luck!

6
January 8, 2015 4:16 PM

Traditionally, Lily was used as a nickname for Elizabeth, and it is also associated (by derivation/meaning) with Susan(na). Not much help with incorporating the names you like, but perhaps a direction you hadn't considered before?

Lilybelle is very frilly -- it sounds more like an endearment than a name -- but as a twofer honor middle, I think it'd work, especially with a more solid, non-frilly first, like Ruby. (Gemstones, while undoubtedly beautiful and feminine-associated, are still stones, the exact opposite of frilly.)

Be cautious with combinations of Ruby and Belle, though, because rubella is a nasty disease.

7
January 8, 2015 5:18 PM

I agree with the previous comment about Lilybelle being very frilly.  It does strike me as more of a term of endearment type nickname.  I admit this is probably because it's not familiar to me since Annabelle doesn't strike me this way at all.

I will also agree that you should use caution when thinking of ways to combine Ruby & anything "belle" due to rubella.

Since you aren't crazy about Ruby and it is a namesake name, I suggest you keep it in the middle position. That's a great place for honor names that one or both parents don't particularly care for.  With that in mind, my vote from your current list is Annabelle.

In my family, using Lily at all (especially as a first name) would cause more drama than it is worth.  You'll have to decide if it is doable in your family and/or worth any possible drama.  Other options might be to use a similar name like Lillian or Lilith with Lily as an occassional nickname.  At least you'd still have the full name to fallback on at family gatherings.  You could also look for sound alikes such as Millile or Tillie.  I'll also suggest Lilah, Calla & Iris.

 

8
January 9, 2015 10:52 AM

I like Ruby Annabelle best!

9
January 10, 2015 11:09 PM

I think it's generally best to try to find a name you can both agree on. Your list is very short, can you both come up with some other names you like? If you're not too into Ruby then putting it in the middle is a good option. If your husband is good with Annabelle Ruby then I think that's the best option. With only Annabelle and Lily to go on it's hard to offer suggestions. Since Ruby is an honor name I'm not even sure if that is in your husband's taste or he just cares more about the connection to the name. Liliana Ruby is another good option (Lily Ruby or Lilybelle don't sound very good together). Some other suggestions: Lila, Luna, Clara, Lydia, Stella, Viola, Mae/May, Jane, Isla, Elena, Nora

10
January 10, 2015 11:08 PM

How about Lilia/Lilya Ruby or Lilith Ruby?  You could still use Lily as a nn then.

11
January 11, 2015 11:54 PM

In my own family, a cousin using a name would rule it out. For years, I had my heart set on Elizabeth, but my cousin got to it first with her daughter. I actually mentioned the name Elizabeth to my cousin, and she said she didn't mind if I used Elizabeth as well, but I still decided against it. Funnily enough, my daughter ended up being born on Elizabeth's birthday to boot, so now they share that, even though they don't share the name! Whether you feel comfortable using Lily still would depend on how your family would react, and also on how close you are to your cousin. (Elizabeth and my daughter, Elena, see each other frequently.) You might discuss it with your cousin, as I did with mine; maybe she doesn't mind either. I preferred my daughter's name to be unique within the family, or at least within her generation.

I think you might also use another varient of Lily - Lillian, Lila, Liliana, Liana, Lilia, Lilith, etc. - and perhaps the middle name Belle, thus getting the nicknames Lily and Lilybelle without actually reusing the name. (Lilybelle seems too cutesy to me to stand alone but is an adorable nickname.) I also like the suggestion of Millie as another sound-alike possibility. There's also Lillianne, which is a French varient spelling of Lillian, but obviously evokes both Lily and Anne, which might appeal to you. It sounds less cutesy than Lilybelle to my ears.

As far as your other choices go, I think you should like the name, so even though I think Ruby is lovely, I'd rule it out as a first name. After all, you have to like the name too, and (this is just my opinion) your husband already has the last name to honor his side of the family.

Annabelle Ruby is quite nice, and it is my favorite from your list. I like that Annabelle honors your side of the family and that Ruby honors your husband's side, and since middle names are rarely used, it seems it's a better position for the name you aren't as fond of. Annabelle Lily / Annabelle Lillian / etc. would also be a nice combo. I think it's totally acceptable to use Lily as a middle name even if your cousin has a Lily.

12
January 13, 2015 7:49 PM

I would go with Annabelle Ruby (unless your surname begins with S). That way you and your husband each choose a name, you avoid Lily and I like your reasons for choosing Annabelle, plus it is a lovely name. However if Lily is still your favourite then I wouldn't be put off by your cousin using it. Are you close? do you see much of them? May also depend on your surname as to whether Lily or Annabelle goes better with it. You could keep Lily in reserve for a future daughter and then there would be more of an age gap between the two of them. 

13
January 13, 2015 10:29 PM

I am with you I do not like the name Ruby, but I do like Rubiana.   I like the middle name Lilybelle but Ruby...ehhhh.  I do like Annabelle but if your cousin used Lily already it doesn't seem fair to use it.  How about changing Lily to Lillian? u can still call her Lily but maybe your cousin wouldn't feel like you copied her or anything. Lillian Annabelle is pretty.   This is a tough one.  I would say have your husband pick his fav of the 4 listed and you pick your fav.  Then with just 2 names to debate on, during your few days stay at the hospital getting to know her see which one fits her the best.  :-)  I wanted to take a list with me and see what fit my daughters the best by my husband kept singling out one name saying "thats the one, thats the name" Seeing which one fit her best sounded like such fun :-( oh well.  Good luck and congrats. 

14
January 13, 2015 11:30 PM

Do you like the name Annalie/Annalee pronounced (onnalee)

 

15
January 14, 2015 3:16 AM

Omg wait i have to add one I just thought of Liliana Ruby.  :-). That is very pretty and u kinda get all 3 names ruby, lily and. Well Ana instead of Anna but still.  I really like it.  Liliana Ruby & Rubiana Lily are my 2 choices in that order.  Good luck

16
January 14, 2015 7:31 PM

Excellent suggestion. Liliana Ruby is very pretty!

17
January 18, 2015 3:06 AM

I have to ask, What are the specifics on the cousin situation? Is this someone who lives a thousand miles away and you see once every five years? Or are you in the same county and the family convenes at Grandma's house four times a year? My gut, like yours, says to avoid the name my cousin already chose, but if you love the name that much and if you don't see this family often....

I like all your names. I like Ruby just fine. I have to point out that FYI "the Lilly Belle" is the famous presidential train car at Disneyland.

Because of the disease rubella, I vote No Combo of Ruby and Belle, including rubelle.

18
By rooo
January 19, 2015 2:27 PM

Here is a different way to think about it. My cousin also used one of my top 2 names for her child. I was heartbroken that I couldn't use it for a child of my own. I even at one point said something (not to her) like "that's a dumb name" when what I meant was "I'm angry she didn't ask me permission before stealing that fabulous name from me!".

But after spending time with her child and getting used to her wearing the name, I realized this was the best thing that could have happened. I will only have so many children of my own - not enough to use all of the names I love (even if I do only have a few top favorites right now). The more of my beloved names my cousins and siblings use, the more of them I will get to enjoy as the kids grow up. My cousin using this name frees me up to use another great name for my own child. Hopefully you can let it do the same for you. I have another cousin whose kids' names are not my style at all, and I would much prefer that they stole a few names from my list.

In your situation, I would go with Annabelle Ruby. It's a beautiful name that pleases both you and your husband. Can't you just imagine your Annabelle and her Lily being the cutest little cousin BFFs?