"Ev3rett Xavier H F (can you imagine Everett as an adult?  What does it feel like to you?)"

Everett is a nice name; yes, I can imagine it on an adult.  I don't like the nickname options (Rett?), though.

"N@thaniel Xavier H F (How does Nate sound with last name?  Awkward?  Too, too common???)"

I'm married to a Nathaniel.  It's not all that common; I mean, it's top 100 in the US, but that's not a lot of kids when you come down to it.  My husband uses the nickname "Nat", which I like but which gets mistaken for "Matt" a lot.

It sounds to me like you do love Auden, as does your husband. Auden Xavier sounds and looks fantastic. Forget the nay-saying about Aiden-Auden similarity. I think Xavier as a middle name pulls it into a more distinguished style that leaves the A-den trend in the dust.

I like Nathaniel, Nicolas, and Everett. I don't think Nathaniel is too common-I don't know any.

I like Abram, Everett, Nathaniel & Nicolas. I don't think Nathaniel/Nate is too common. Nico sounds fine to me with your surname. Only real negative I'd have with any of these would be the combination of Nicolas Carol, and that's because for me it makes me think of Christmas (and I could easily be the only person who thinks that), with Saint Nick & Christmas Carols. Otherwise it sounds nice and is extra special with the meaning for giving him the name Carol. 

With 2 last names plus Xavier as a middle, this kid is already saddled with a tongue-twister. Choose something short and simple for the first name, at least. Sam? Luke? Calvin seems like the best from among your choices. PS: In regard to Everett: It doesn't really pass the doctor/lawyer test to me. I try to test every potential name choice with the question "How likely would it feel to hire a doctor/lawyer named ('Everett')?" In other words, how much does the name carry strongly into adulthood, as a name to be taken seriously? Everett doesn't pass the test for me. It sounds more like a rock-climber or a musician. Or a perpetual child / adolescent, which is what so many kids in this current generation are stuck with. But that's a conversation for another time. And who knows, maybe by the name I'm elderly, the doctor administering my end-of-life care will be named "Graycyn." But somehow I doubt it. 

Well, I think you better have a heart to hear with the hubs here, because it sounds like he thinks this baby's name is Auden-or at least that he isn't going to seriously consider anything else while it's on the table!

Not trying to start trouble-I just recall something similar with our oldest. As far as my husband was concerned, the baby was named, and he was just humoring me listening to other possibilities.

Moving on....

I love Everett, and I think it sounds great on little boys and grown men.

I personally find Auden too feminine. I know it's a boys' name, but there is something soft about the sound. Could you interest him in Alden? I also like Elias and Calvin very much, and from your shorter list, I like Nicholas fine. Nathaniel is one of those names where I love the nn but not the, "Long form." It sounds like there are already too many objections to others on your list to seriously consider them.

I'll offer up Alaric.

Thanks for the update! :)

Everett Xavier is definitely my favorite of your new set. I'm not usually one for surname-names, but this one is one of the few that I really do like. Historically, it's totally defensible as a given name, as it originates as a given name in use before surnames were hereditary (Old English Eoforheard, "boar-hard" -> Everard -> Everett). I can definitely see it on an adult—with your LNs in particular, it sounds very dignified and aristocratic. 

I adore Nico as a nickname, and I think it sounds charming with your LN. I prefer the English Nicholas to the more Continental Nicolas, but if you have cultural reasons for picking the Continental spelling then I'm totally on board. I don't love it with Carol as a middle, though—I agree with saenra that it rings a bit Christmassy for me. Nicolas Xavier isn't ideal either as it runs together a bit, but I think I prefer it anyway. 

I quite like both Nathaniel Xavier and Abram Xavier, but I like both choices better in full than their respective nicknames. I do prefer Nate to Nat, and I think it sounds fine with your LN. I don't care for Abe (it's still firmly in old man territory for me), but Abram is only two syllables, so I don't think you necessarily need a nickname at all.

I like all your new choices better than Auden. I've commented on Auden in other threads, so I'll just briefly recap: my main objection is the plodding repetition of Auden H0ffm@n F0nten0t, followed by the fact that the two-syllable-ends-in-den style is so trendy right now—Auden is just going to disappear into that gigantic style morass. 

I agree with Guest @ 4:22 about DH seeming pretty fixated on Auden at this point, and that you probably should sit him down and seriously level with him—with the addition that first, you really need to decide for yourself how you feel about Auden (and if you decide you do love it, then please do ignore my opinion—it doesn't matter). It sounds as if DH has been very free to reject the names you love, so remember that you can just as freely reject his choices—if you decide that Auden isn't right for your child, you need to sit him down now and firmly say, No, this is off the table. If you do love it, or at least if you can truly see it on your child—well then it sounds like you've found your name, and it's probably counterproductive to keep looking at options. The decision-making research has shown that trying to "maximize" and make the best possible decision often leads to lower satisfaction with your ultimate choice than if you "satisfice" and go with something that's good enough (my DH has a PhD in this area and I've absorbed that much from him ;) ) 

If you're still 50/50 after some soul-searching—the best course might be to firmly take it off the table, just so you can get him seriously thinking about other choices. Then, if you decide at the end that you do like it after all, you can always reintroduce it and make his day :)

I'll agree with PP that it sounds like your husband has decided that the baby is Auden. I think you were close to feeling he was a Xavier, and now you are at an impasse. I agree you need to decide whether you are interested in keeping Auden on the list or not. If you aren't keen I'd nix it now or else I think you are going to have a tough time later as it sounds like your DH wants Auden and nothing else. If by some chance, the baby is born, and you think to yourself 'yes, he is Auden' then I'm sure you could re-introduce it.

Of the names that are seriously in contention I like Everett Xaviver. It has a good feel, although I'm very partial to the nn Rhett.  I can definitely see Everett on an adult. I can see it more on an adult than a baby, in fact.

Abram is nice and I like the nn Abe, but I don't like it with F0nten0t. It does run together for me. Bram F0nten0t though sounds great. Does this interest you?

Nathaniel/Nate is a good contender. I don't think it's actually that common. I know of 1 young Nathaniel and I think he goes by his full name exclusively. I really like Nate with your surname.

Nicolas Carol is a no from me. Nicolas/Nicholas is pretty common. I do like the nn option Nico but it is too rhymey with F0nten0t. I also immediately though Christmas with the middle name.

Auden, Calder and Walker are all a bit in the surname territory for me, and are just OK. I like any of them as middles but I"m not sold on them as firsts.

Simon I like, but if you can't get Xavier, I can't see you getting your DH to agree to Simon.

Emile, is nice but I find it more ' pretentious and formal' than Xavier, so I can't see you getting that either. I also think people might read it as Emily/Emilie and while I don't necessarily think it's a huge issue, you may.

Quentin and Calvin are only OK for me. Both seem to be on the geeky side of the equation. I just don't like them as much as other options.

Elias and Lev I really like. If you could get your husband to seriously consider either I think they are good choices.

In summary: I like Everett and Nathaniel best. Abram is a good option if you don't use Abe as the  nickname and I like either Elias or Lev if they are actually in contention.

I like Everett and Nathaniel nn Nate. In contrast to others I actually can see Everett as a Dr or lawyer (if that's what you're looking for) or as someone more creative. But generally professional. And in any event, once your child is an adult he will make the name his own and be whoever and whatever he wants. 

Not a huge fan of Nathaniel but I love the nn Nate. Think it works well with your last name. 

And Auden's great too, but I'm thinking there might be a reason why you didn't include it in the top group? Why is your DH so attached to it? 

Everett seems like a sixty-five year-old civil engineer to me (obviously drawing on personal experience here). Nice choice.

Goes well with my sons name, Sabastian. the a instead of e Americanizes it and it losses the stuffiness of the English spelling

Sympathies to you, PennyX - this process sounds frustrating! I agree with others that it sounds like you need to take Auden off the table at least temporarily to get your husband to think about other options. I'm not particularly a fan of Auden anyway, at least for you, for the various reasons that I and others have expressed on other threads. I don't think it's a bad option though (just not my favorite personally), and if you can see it on your child, then certainly the simplest thing is to tell DH that you've got a winner and the debate can end. :-) Keep in mind that whatever you go with, choosing a name will mean that you (and perhaps he) will have to let go of many other favorites. That may involve some grief - perfectly legitimately so from a NE's perspective, but you both need to try not to let it get in the way of making a choice and choosing to love the final selection (compromise) without looking back. He may be fixated on Auden simply because he wants to be done with discussion though rather than due to the name's particular merits, and if that's the case it may be hard to reopen debate and not have him just shoot down all new suggestions in indiscriminate frustration. I don't have any constructive suggestions about how to avoid that, unfortunately. I think Linnaeus' general prompt for parents about picturing the kind of person their child will be is a helpful one, and one you've made some headway with.

As for your new list ... Abram is OK; I agree with you about Abe but don't think it needs a nickname. I actually think Chimu's suggestion of Bram flows better. Everett I surprisingly have no associations with, other than I see it suggested here for new babies along with names like Bennett and Beckett. That and the stylish V makes me think it could be trendy, but I may be way way off with that. I don't really like the Rett/Rhett nickname myself, but again a nickname seems optional. Nathaniel is a perfectly good classic choice. It's not "exciting" but the familiarity is pleasant in its own way (I guess it helps that all the Nathaniels I've known have been nice guys), and if you like the flow of a longer name along with the flowery last name having the choice be more classic provides a nice balance and straightforwardness. For a nickname I prefer Nate over Nat (in general and with your surnames). Of course you can't prevent your kid from picking his own preferred nickname down the road, so if you really hate one nickname option keep that in mind. That also applies to Nicolas. Like EVie, I'd probably prefer the Nicholas spelling (just to avoid having to correct people, unless you have a special connection to Nicolas), and I'd avoid the Christmassy combination with Carol.

Onto the longer list: Let go of Elliot and Simon (as much as it hurts, and I share your frustration). You've been wavering on the too-many-surnames? issue for a while, and it doesn't sound like you love them enough to overcome this hesitation, so Calder and Walker are probably out as well. (Does this bother you with Everett?) Emile, if I remember right, was one of your husband's picks that you only liked in the middle name spot. If he's going to be ruthless with your favorites, and you really can't see your child being an Emile, it's time to level with him. I agree that it's likely to get occasional confusion or teasing related to Emily, which doesn't have to be a deal-breaker, but if your husband is OK with that it seems odd that he's so opposed to Simon, Elliot and Xavier. Not that any of this has to be rational!

Quentin I think could work; it feels very similar to Xavier to me in some ways, with the classic roots and cool initial. With F--- it makes for a lot of Ns in the name, but it has a light enough touch that this doesn't bother me. Elias is a solid alternative to Elliot, but you should be aware that it's on the rise in case that bothers you. Especially with Eli and Elijah so popular, it will tend to blend into the crowd more than some of your other options. It also feels more deliberately Old Testament than Nathaniel, just because Nathaniel's been moderately popular for longer. Calvin sounds good and seems to hit that sweet spot for you of long history but snappy moddern sound. Probably because we've talked so much about religious connotations of other name options, the association with John Calvin immediately leaps to mind; I don't know that it would otherwise or for most people. I mention it though since you've expressed some concern about sounding too religious, particularly too Catholic, and the religion here isn't even part of you or your husband's or kid's heritage. If that doesn't bother you, it does seem like the right style to appeal to you and your husband. Lastly, Lev - I love this name, short and sweet and strong (and I won't get to use it). It does run into F--- for me though; does this bother you?

I hope some of this is useful, and I wish you both luck in finding something you love!

i like Everett or even Emile best. i can imagine an Everett as an adult, because the first one i ever met is an adult and was one of my friends parents and in administration at my high school. the name, strong as a boar, really fits. he had the combination of intelligence with handsome looks and was very physically strong. it really made me like the name Everett. i think Everett Xavier F. would be great.

Oh, PennyX, how frustrating!

I agree with previous posters that you ALSO have the power to veto. If after trying to like Xavier, your husband just can't get on board with it, I think that is fair... but if after trying to like Auden, you just can't get on board with IT, it too should be removed from the table. I think you want a name that both of you can feel good about on your son, even if it isn't your or his absolute favorite. So, remove Xavier, remove Auden (since if you're not sure if you can love it for your child, after all this time of kicking it around, I think the answer is probably "no"). Then, try some name tournaments to winnow it down from names that you BOTH agree you like, even if you don't loooove them as much as Xavier/Auden. Nancy's Baby Names blog has some good ideas for decision-making, and I think Swistle's blog also - she did some kind of numerical scoring system.

But seriously, if you do not like a name, remoooooove it from the list. If he does not like the name, remove that from the list. Long list or not, just take it off! You guys have been kicking this around long enough that if you don't like the name now, I think it's unlikely that it's suddenly going to in the next 7-12 weeks become "the one". And, if it does, you can always joyfully reintroduce it after his birth and make the other parent's day.

I might also remove the surnames, because then the full name gets to sound too much like a law firm.

Nathaniel - I grew up with lots of Nates, so it doesn't feel super fresh or unexpected to me, but I think it's a very dignified, solid choice. It helps that I have some excellent excellent associations for the name. My very favorite of the Nathaniels went by Niel when I met him. If Nate is too ordinary for you, it might be an option - the unrelated name Neil has certainly brought that into naming custom, and it's not traditional as a Nathaniel nickname, but I thought it made a lot of sense.

Everett is a suburb where I live, and a suburb with a higher crime rate and a lack of real downtown or flavor...so it's just not a name I can judge objectively.

Abram I really like, and I don't see a problem with Abe F in the short form. I think this has more of the flavor of Xavier or Auden as compared to your other choices on the short list.

Isaac I just can't get too excited about. Ditto Nicolas. Of each, I can say that it's a fine name, just doesn't do much for me... until I meet young Isaac/Nico F and then I will be delighted and charmed and thrilled to have a new and positive association for the name. That is to say, if YOU and your husband love them, or they are the names that you both cumulatively like the most, then use them, as there is not a thing wrong with them and how they work with your surnames.

Anyway, you have some great choices... but you need to start some ruthless elimination, now, I think. Maybe start a new list of "rejected names" and then you can use them someday on pets, which is what we did to make the name letting-go process easier. (Or computers or other occasions other than a child. Other than THIS child, anyway!)

By any chance, did the grandfather have a mn or nickname that might work?

Somehow, it seems like an Audley might have had one....also, there was a generation where every man seemed to....or perhaps that's just in my family!

I don't know if it would be a possibility, but it seems to me that you could always save Audrey or Aubrey or even Audley or Auden for a future sister to this babe, if any of those would appeal to you as well....

Ok, so we've made little progress lately.  Looks like Everett is off the table, because we haven't had any reply from the current holder of the name.  

DH made one comment about how Xavier might be ok as a first name if the kid could go by the middle name when little - or if there was a more approachable, informal nickname for the middle name.  It was an interesting idea.  

It does seem like we at least imagine our grown child the same way - or at least we want the name to be ok in the same circumstances.  So we're not far off from each other in that respect.  We both like to imagine a Prof. F or Dr. F.  DH's favorite is Ambassador F, and he admits Xavier is pretty great for that.  I think he's concerned about the school age, though, and how the name will play there.  

I have a few thoughts and questions:

Has anyone found it super annoying and cumbersome to name a child one thing but have him go by his middle name?  I know that's a little more common if he's named after his father.  

One option would be to go with Xavier Isaac, and he could go by Zac.  Is Zac just too dated and 80's???  I really like the name, and it's so close to the popular Jack, but...

The only other name DH really still likes is Quentin, nn Quinn  I'm warming up to it a bit.  I'm worried by the trendiness of Quinn, but it's not like there are TONS of them out there.  I can imagine a pretty crush-worthy Quinn Font3n0t.  I'm not sure that Quentin as an adult is quite as sophisticated as Xavier, but I'm running out of options. Is Quinn too, too trendy and likely to be date stamped???

As always, thanks for the ideas and support.   

I think Xavier is quite snappy and can't imagine boys with this name being called wimpy solely on the basis of the name. It seems likes such a strong name to me! Zac seems like a good compromise and doesn't seem dated, at least not in my neck of the woods.

Quentin is totally Faulkner to me, so I can't hear it without thinking of Southern history. That's not a bad association, as Absalom, Absalom! is one of my favorite novels (I never did like The Sound and the Fury, however), but it's strong as it's my only connection to the name. I can picture it on a small child or a grown man.

I'll echo the Xave/Zave comment - that seems like a perfectly good little kid nickname.  I guess I'm assuming too that you're pronouncing it with a Z sound at the beginning.  But actually the only Xavier I know (in his 20s) pronounces it with an H sounds at the beginning, just like the Spanish name Javier.  And he sometimes goes by Xavi (pronounced Ha-vee) ... sorry if this just complicates things, but I bring up the question because there are two nickname options.