She's 9 days old....

and I still haven't named her! I posted some favorites weeks ago and that helped with eliminating a few names, but I just ended up adding more in. Beside each name I'll describe why I like it/or the problem with it, next to it. I'm about 75% Italian and I'd like her name to reflect my heritage, so there a few Italian names on the list. Her dad is Scottish/English and she will be using his surname, Wallace, so I feel an Italian first name will give it a good balance. The problem there is that my family is huge and I'd like to not repeat a name that was already used on a close family member. I'd also like a name that's not so common, but at the same time not completely unheard of or made up. And most of the names I like end in A, which feels like a tongue twister with Wallace with most options... Just an overview.

Adria Wallace- (Italian name, but doesn't feel 'complete' to me)

Alina Wallace- (I like the nickname Allie so I thought this was cute, but I have a cousin Lina, and I want to avoid family names)

Allegra Wallace- (A strong Italian name that I can't cros off my list, but I live in the States, and we have an allergy med by the same name... Most people (with the exception of the Italians) tell me it's horrible and I can't do that to her.)

Amelia Wallace- (A name ending in A that I love with Wallace, in terms of flow, I think it's the best one on my list... the problem is it's ranked #17 in popularity in the USA for 2013 and it's in the top 10 in my state.)

Aria Wallace- (Italian name thats both Italian and Hebrew in origin, my name is Gianna and it shares the same origin and I like that. The downside is that it's very trendy right now with Game of Thrones/Pretty Little Liars.)

Ariadne Wallace- ( A different mythological spin on Aria, which would be the nickname... I am about 12% Greek, my maternal grandfather is half-Greek, and this is his favorite name on my list. Is it too out there? And it is stupid to give her this name, when I only intend to call her Aria?)

Aurelina Wallace- (An alternative to Aurora- see below. But is it too frilly?)

Aurora Wallace- (My favorite name... but a horrible tongue twister with Wallace, I can't even say it without pausing slightly inbetween the name. I can't imagine her trying to say it at 4/5 years old. This is why I'm having so much trouble... I'm trying to settle because this is "it" and I can't use it.)

Brynna Wallace- (My daughter's dad loves Brynn and this was my compromise, I like it, but it's not a favorite.)

Cecelia Wallace- ( I love this spelling, I know it's not the most common one. This was my favorite name at the beginning of my pregnancy, I started to not like it as much mid-pregnancy, but I'm warming up to it again.)

Eleanor Wallace- (An alternative to Elena/Eliana)

Elena Wallace- (Italian name, it's ranked at 132 which is acceptable, but Namenerds has it as #38 with the combined spellings.)

Eliana Wallace- (Love this name, possibly my third favorite, but my name ends in ahna as well. I don't want to create a theme.)

Greta Wallace- (Something uncommon but not too out there. Think it's cute.)

Ivy Wallace- (See Greta.)

Liliana Wallace- (My daughter's dad and my dad's favorite and it's also high on my list. The turnoffs are the ahna ending and Lily's popularity.)

Lorelei Wallace- (My favorite name as a preteen. I like it with Wallace.)

Luna Wallace- (I love it, but many people say it reminds them of loony/lunatic.)

Marina Wallace- (One of my favorite places in the world is a marina, I think it's a diverse name.)

Rhea Wallace- (Going through Greek mythology names (how I found Ariadne) and found this different and cute.)

Stella Wallace- (My second favorite name and I really dislike it with Wallace.)

Sorry this was so long and all over the place.

 

Replies

1
September 24, 2014 1:32 PM

Adria Wallace- Is there some reason you can't use Adriana? It's definitely complete, and you could call her Adria.

Allegra Wallace- I personally love this name, and while I am Italian, it's back there, and my family has none of the culture. (My first, middle, and last names are from three different languages, none of them Italian) It might help that I don't have allergies, but I associate the name more with music (via Allegro) than medicine.

Amelia Wallace- Emilia is a less common sound-alike, though based on your comments on Elena, it sounds like that doesn't make a difference to you. And if popularity is the only factor keeping you from the name you love, I'd forget about it. Amelia is a lovely, classic name.

Aria Wallace- Ariana, or, as you mentioned, Ariadne, would help to get rid of the pop culture conotations. And I don't think it's at all weird to name with a nickname in mind. 

Aurelina Wallace- I really don't like this one, sorry. It sounds too made up.

Aurora Wallace- It doesn't trip me up at all, but I can see how it might for some people. My biggest hesitation on this name would be the Sleeping Beauty reference, but that could be a plus or a minus depending on how you look at it, and little girls these days are more into Rapunzel, Merida, Sofia, Anna, and Elsa. If it helps, I don't think a 4/5 year old is likely to have to say her first and last name together very often. My little sister is 4 and on the rare occasion someone asks her what her full name is (almost always a family member who just wants to see if she knows it), she gives her middle name too.

Cecelia, Eleanor, Greta, Ivy, Lorelai, Marina, Rhea Wallace- I notice that you don't give downsides to any of these names. Would I be correct in guessing that you just don't love them as much as some of the others? I really love Lorelai and Marina by the way :) 

Eliana, Lilliana Wallace- I really don't think the -ana ending is a problem, especially for Lilliana.

Luna Wallace- I don't love this name, but it definitely doesn't remind me of loony or lunatic. That may have something to do with my knowledge of Latin though.

Stella Wallace- Definitely a little 'l' heavy 

2
September 24, 2014 3:28 PM

Adria, Eliana, Liliana- I want to avoid the ahna ending, because my name also ends in ahna. I've crossed Eliana/Liliana off my list so many times, just to put them back in. I don't like Adriana as much as either one of them. I also thought Adria could be used insead of Aria, but I like Aria better overall. I might like Liliana slightly better than Eliana, but Ellie is less common than Lily.

Allegra- I think of music as well with Allegra and also the ballerina, Allegra Kent. 

Amelia- I would use this spelling, because I feel she'd be correcting the Em spelling her whole life. Popularity is the only strike against it, although I don't like it as much as some of my other choices.

Aria- I have come up with two names now (Ariadne and Adria) to avoid Aria, but I still prefer Aria.

Aurelina- I agree, not only does it sound like I'm trying to hard, that's actually what I'm doing. 

Aurora- I don't mind the Sleeping Beauty reference, but her dad does. His niece (3) loves Sleeping Beauty while most of the other little kids are into Elsa, Rapunzel, Sofia, Merida like you said. He's okay with it if that's really what I decide to name her, though. 

Cecelia, Eleanor, Greta, Ivy, Lorelei, Marina, Rhea- Yes, you're correct. These are my "safe" names. There's really nothing wrong with them, except that I don't love them. I figured with all the naming problems I was having, these were great fallbacks. Lorelei, Marina, and Cecelia are probably my three favories of this group, but I like all 3 the same.

Stella- If I could live with Stella Wallace, I'd use this name.

3
September 24, 2014 1:50 PM

I'd eliminate Adria if it doesn't feel complete to you.  Have you considered Adriana?  I think it feels more complete than Adria, meets your preference for something Italian and isn't very commmon at all.

If you don't want to use family names, I'd eliminate Alina.  I'd also eliminate Aurelina because of the "lina" element (and yes, Aurelina does strike me as too frilly, also as a bit "trying too hard).

Since you are in the U.S., I would eliminate Allegra.  It's perfectly lovely in other places, but unless you're naming style is a bit on the brave or "I don't care at all what people think" side, I think it could be a difficult name to pull off here.

Aria is very pretty and seems to meet all your requirements.  Honestly, most of your names strike me as a bit "trendy" because they contain sound elements that are currently very popular.  If this is the name you love best, don't let trendiness or popularity stop you.  All that means is most people will like the name/think you have good taste.

Ariadne is a very pretty choice.  However, I wouldn't use it if you never plan on calling her that.  Aria is still going to be just as popular/trendy, even if it's technically a nickname.

Aurora is a lovely and and I think it sounds fine with Wallace.  I do have to pause a bit between the final "rah" and the start of Wallace, but you need to do that with a lot of names.  This is a minor issue and I don't think it's a reason not to use your favorite name.  Who cares if she has a little trouble saying her name as a very young child?  The average lifespan of women today is something like 82 or 83, so we're talking about a couple years of minor difficulty vs. around 80 years of a lovely name and no problems.  Besides, lots of kids have trouble enunciating lots of things (including their names).  It's cute for a while and then they get over it.

I'm just going to stop here.  The other names on your list are lovely.  However, you've already said Aurora is "it" and I just don't think you've made a convincing argument that you can't use it.  If Dad is on board, use Aurora.  Stop complicating things by considering names you just aren't excited about.

 

 

4
September 24, 2014 3:46 PM

I considered Adriana, but came up with Adria, as a way to avoid Adriana (ahna ending) and Aria. I crossed off Eliana and Liliana so many times, just to put them back in, so I'm not truly avoiding the ahna ending, but out of Adriana, Eliana, and Liliana, I prefer Liliana and Eliana.

I am trying too hard with Aurelina. I don't think my cousin Lina would mind my using Alina, but I do want something "different" and to me it's not original enough, because of my cousin's name.

Allegra- I think I'd get more negative comments with this than positive ones. I wish I had the "I don't care what you think attitude" but I don't. Ultimately, I want people to like her name.

Aria- Popularity would be the only thing stopping me from using Aria. Ariadne would just be a way around the popularity. It would only be used in school or at the doctor's office. 

Aurora- Her dad isn't crazy about it and does have issue with the Sleeping Beauty reference. If I really want to use it, he'd be ok with it.

 

5
September 24, 2014 7:11 PM

I'm not sure that Ariadne really solves the popularity problem you have with Aria.  If she's called Aria all the time at home, it's likely she'll want to be called Aria at school too.  That leaves Ariadne for the birth certificate, doctor's office and formal occassions (graduations, wedding) only.  I guess for me, I just don't see much of a point.  There's still the same chance she's going to encounter other Aria's and most people will never know her given name isn't Aria.  

If it helps any, Aria was ranked #40 last year.  For perspective, that means it was given to only 5,085 babies across the entire U.S.  That's only 0.2663% of all babies born last year.  At those numbers, it's likley she'll run across other Arias, but it's unlikely that she's going to be one of several in her class (or even in her entire school).  Have you checked the stats on Aria for your state?  The name is ranked much lower than #40 in my state, perhaps it is also ranked lower than the national average where you live.

One of my kids has a name that was #11 for the year he was born.  We've only met a couple, and all of them used a nickname (he does not).  If it's the name you and dad like the best, I don't think you should let popularity stop you from using it.  Popularity isn't the problem it was back in the days of Jennifer & Jessica.

6
September 24, 2014 7:35 PM

I just checked IL's state popularity and Aria is right at #40. If I felt like the name was on a decline, I wouldn't worry, but I feel it's rising. 

Ariadne would be used to give her a choice, yes her nn is overly popular and trendy, but Ariadne is neither. That way she could be called Ariadne in school, rather than Aria W, if she wanted.

 

7
September 24, 2014 2:00 PM

I know a 20-year-old Ariadne, and she likes her name. Her surname is a fairly common English name, like Wallace, so the combination with the much less common Ariadne helps. She goes by Annie when she wants to blend in. (I'm not aware of any Greek ancestry anywhere in her family; they're all UK-derived Americans as far back as I know of.)

That said, I'm not seeing the problem with Aurora Wallace. Am I saying it wrong (uh-ROAR-uh WALL-us)? I also don't think there's any problem with -a endings combined with Wallace, especially since they're so common on girl's names.

I actually kinda like the repeated 'll' and the DAH-duh-DAH-duh rhythm of Stella Wallace. It's nicely memorable without being at all cartoony.

Based on your comments about each name, I'd put Aria, Aurora, Eliana, Liliana, and Stella at the top of the list. I think the repeated endings of Eliana/Liliana would be a fun link with your name, without being too overt. (Caveat: I'm a Julia who named her daughter Julianna, which is a lot closer than a shared ending -- but my mother is also Julia, as was her mother...)

Oh, and one last thought: in Italian, it's Cecilia -- the second 'e' would be considered incorrect -- but there's also Celia, which is used in that spelling in Italian as well as English, plus it's similar to the Italian word for "heaven", cielo (because it's ultimately derived from the Latin word for "heaven", caelum).

8
September 24, 2014 3:59 PM

Ariadne- I find Wallace to be a bit on the boring side and Ariadne eliminates some of that. Annie is a cute nn. If I used it, I'd call her Aria exclusively except for dr visits and school.

Aurora- You are pronouncing it correctly. I think the Roar- uh and WALL sound harsh together and if you say her name quickly, it kind of runs together.

Stella- I don't think it sounds as bad with Wallace as Aurora does, but it is too L heavy, I feel.

Cecelia- I know the second E is wrong in Italian, but I really like that spelling. I normally like the traditional spellings, but not with this name. Celia is cute, but I wanted a Cece nn.

That probably is my top 5. I wish there wasn't something "wrong" wih each one.

 

9
By mk
September 24, 2014 4:44 PM

I'd go with Aurora. It's your favorite name and I think it sounds fine with Wallace. Many kids have trouble saying their name, but they learn how to say it and aren't kids for long. Plus, there is the nickname Rory if you want something easier (both adult Auroras I know still go by Rory).

I also like your second favorite name, Stella, with Wallace. I actually think Stella Wallace sounds better than some of the other options.

You can use Cece as a nickname for Cecilia. No need to change the spelling to fit a nickname, as plenty of nicknames don't follow the full name. Jim and Pam's baby on The Office was a Cecilia nicknamed Cece.

10
September 24, 2014 4:49 PM

Aurora is my favorite, but her dad doesn't care for the Disney princess reference, ultimately, if that's the name I choose, he is okay with it... but I was trying to find a name that flowed better with Wallace.

I wish I thought Stella sounded okay with Wallace, I would definitely use it.

To me, Cecelia just looks better to me than Cecilia... Idk why exactly.

11
September 24, 2014 5:02 PM

Aria (#40 and rising; likely to feel dated in a few decades) as a nickname for Ariadne (never in the top 1000) would certainly give her some flexibility in dealing with a common surname -- she could blend in as Aria, or stand out as Ariadne. But I'd only recommend this name if you actually liked Ariadne: what if she decides she wants to use it full time, reserving Aria for a family nickname?

_Anything_ can run together if you say it quickly. :-) I really don't see/hear a problem with Aurora Wallace as a combination -- if your family can deal with the Disney princess association, I think you've found the baby's name.

I guess my taste in sounds (for lack of a better term) is different from yours: L is such a nice, liquid sound that I don't mind repeating it in Stella Wallace.

I think Cece is a perfectly reasonable nickname for Celia.

You commented in answer to someone else that Ellie is less popular than Lily. I'm not so sure that's true, if you include all the little girls who go by Ellie as a nickname for one of the El- names that are currently so popular. In fact, I just added it up: El- names in the top 200 last year accounted for 32997 babies, while Lil- names in the top 1000 (!) accounted for just 26723 babies.

12
September 24, 2014 5:27 PM

I know Aria will feel dated in 20 years or so. I'd rather not use a name where someone could pinpoint her age within 5 years. Ariadne (I presume) will be used on job resumes and whatnot and I don't think anyone could pinpoint an Ariadne's age just by hearing the name. I mainly like Ariadne as a way of getting Aria, I wouldn't have found it any other way, but Ariadne would be her name, and I'd be fine with her wanting to be called that.

Aurora Wallace, Aurora Wallace, Aurora Wallace... I've got to keep saying it, I hope it will grow on me.

I think Stella sounds slightly better with Wallace than Aurora, Stella is well-received by my family, so much so that my sister is calling her that. She's tired of saying the baby. 

You're right it would be difficult to put a # on Ellie's popularity, with all the El names being used now. Lily just ranks higher, since most people use Ellie as a nn. If I named her Eliana/Liliana, I would personally call her the full name, her dad and his side of the family would shorten it to Ellie/Lily and I'm fine with that.

13
September 24, 2014 7:30 PM

Perhaps your problem is that you are looking for the "perfect" name.  But I don't think there is such a thing.  There is something "wrong" with every name.  You just have to weigh the things you don't like and decide which of those things will be easiest for you to live with.  

And a lot of "wrong" is totally subjective.  For example;

Ariadne is lovely and I agree it adds a little excitement to Wallace.  But not if she's going to be called Annie or Aria 99.9% of the time.  For me, I don't see the point of choosing an exciting name if you aren't going to get to say it all the time.

I don't find the Roar-uh and Wall harsh sounding at all.  It fact, to my ear, it sounds very, very fluid.  My problem with Aurora is that Dad doesn't seem to be totally on board.

Stella is lovely and I don't think there are too many L's in Stella Wallace.  In fact, I think the repeated double Ls are cool. Visually it's very striking and it has a great rhythm.  My personal problem with Stella is that I still hear Marlon Brando's "Hey Stella!"

I love Cecilia (one of my all time favorites) and it's great with Wallace.  But the Cecelia spelling is just wrong to me.  

Despite the things I see wrong with your top 5, I see a lot that is very, very right.  I wouldn't think negatively about any of these names if I ran across them on a child IRL.  (Well, maybe Cecelia just a little, but only if I knew the spelling). Maybe listing all the positives you see for each name would help you see past some of the "wrongs" you perceive?  Which name will you be most sad not to use?  There's a good chance that's probably The Name, even if it's not 100% perfect. 

 

14
September 24, 2014 8:00 PM

I would name her Ariadne and use Aria as a nn so she would have a choice. Her nn is popular and very trendy, but her real name isn't. So she could choose to be called Ariadne in school instead of Aria W. if there's more than 1 kid with her name. Also, she may like Ariadne better and want to be called that all the time, and that would be ok too. 

Dad isn't totally on board with Aurora and because of that, I am trying to find something else. I do feel like I have to settle, but I wouldn't be 100% thrilled with Aurora even if I use it, because of the last name.

I find Stella Wallace to be less offensive than Aurora. Family on both sides like this name, which is in the pro column. I just think that a name flowing is more important than what I truly like. 

Cecelia is actually not in my top 5, I doubt I will use it. It's a "safe" name, meaning I like it, but I don't love it, but I'd consider using it because the names I love are giving me such trouble. I was answering the other poster's qyuestions by paragraph and I agreed with what she put as my top 5- Ariadne/Aria, Aurora, Eliana, Liliana, and Stella.

Eliana/Liliana both share the ahna ending that I'd like to avoid, because my name ends in ahna and I feel this will create a theme in subsequent daughters. But I love both these names and crossed them off my list countless times, just to put them back. Of my choices, Liliana is Dad's favorite.

15
By mk
September 24, 2014 10:50 PM

I agree, you seem to be looking for the "perfect" name and none really exist. All the "wrong" things you list for the other names are really not a big deal.  I would probably not make a list but instead would make a snap decision to see if one jumped to the front. For example, if you had to pick a name right this second which would you choose? If someone else picked the name for you, is there one you really hope they would choose? That is probably the name you really want.

16
September 24, 2014 11:17 PM

I am looking for the perfect name and it probably doesn't exist. I've looked at every name there is, I keep hoping a new one will jump out at me, but nothing.

My sister is doing just that, she's trying to name the baby for me. She started calling her Stella at the end of my pregnancy and I asked her to stop, cause I was still looking, and she started doing it again on Monday because she was a week old without a name. It angered me, because I don't feel like it's the right name. I absolutely love Stella with my maiden name, I might just be upset that I can't use it with my name. (Aurora, incidently, also sounds horrid with my maiden name.)

If I had some guarantee that I wasn't going to have another daughter, I'd probably be inbetween Eliana and Liliana. I don't mind the ahna connection if I only have one daughter. If I had another daughter, I'd feel pressured to use an ahna ending for that one to. The may be weird, Idk. I often think when men name their sons juniors, if they think the second son may feel left out not having his dad's name... I would feel that way, the ahna is apart of my name, so if one daughter has it, my next should as well.

 

17
September 25, 2014 8:37 AM

I think you're overthinking the -ana ending. Your next daughter can have some other link to your family's names: an echo of grandma's name, shared initials with Auntie, whatever. Or something like Ginevra or Gillian, or if you don't want to share your G, Joanna or one of the many other feminine John-derived names. The possibilities are nearly endless, really.

My vote is Liliana, for what little it's worth. :-)

18
September 25, 2014 10:18 AM

Yes, I agree that you don't have to keep using the -ana ending.  There are other ways to connect her name to yours,(or to dad's or another family member, etc).  That's assuming you even have another daughter.   What happens if you don't have another girl?  How much will you regret passing up one of your favorites, especially this turns out to be your only chance to use it?

And really, you have every right to be angry at your sister.  That kind of pressure isn't fair and it isn't nice.  To be honest, I'd be tempted to eliminate Stella if one of my sisters did that to me.

FWIW, I also prefer Liliana.  

 

19
September 25, 2014 4:23 PM

Throughout most of he pregnancy, I thought it would come down to Stella and Eliana. Aurora was always the favorite, but given the last name issue I have with it, ultimately, I figured it was off the table. After I realized Dad wasn't okay with hyphenating Stella, I started to look for alternatives and Eliana was right up there. I'm eliminated Eliana off my list more than any other name. I started thinking what's wrong with it and came up with the ana ending, and how it isn't fair to subsequent daughters, so I cross it off, only to say I don't have another name I like nearly as much... I found Liliana maybe two weeks ago and it quickly outranked Eliana and Stella (with Wallace). Unfortunately, it also has the ana ending, but I still thought this could be it. 

If I don't have another daughter, I may be upset if I didn't use either Liliana/Eliana. I really feel that I have such issues with Aurora and Stella that I'd be just as upset if I used them, then if I didn't. I think Liliana/Eliana both sound ok with Wallace, I can say the name all together, no pauses, no tongue twisters... 

Ariadne/Aria is the only other name I think that could push out both Eliana/Liliana... it saves me from many of my issues. 

I have my "safe" names as well but I don't like them as much as these. 

I am very angry with my sister and she's still doing it. Stella most likely is off the table, because I don't see Dad relenting on the last name issue...I think I'd feel too much resentment naming her Stella Wallace.

20
September 25, 2014 11:43 AM

Is part of the problem with Eliana/Liliana the popularity issue? Some of what you've said about Ariadne lead me to think that maybe they aren't quite as unusual as you want. (Not that either is super popular, but both are spiking right now, and look poised to break the top-100.)

If that's the case, then I don't think you need to stress over the -ana ending; just accept that you want something more uncommon. I'm a not-in-the-top-500 gal myself, so I can appreciate that (I have an academic appreciation for folks who feel the other way). You can go with Ariadne, as the most unusual of the names already on your list, or look around for something else. Oriana has many of the sounds you like, and is an Italian name that's not charting in the U.S. I'm sure the brilliant folks here could make other suggestions, too, if you just can't love any of the names on your list now and want to see if something new will grab your heart.

21
September 25, 2014 4:45 PM

I've crossed off Eliana off my list many times for the ana ending, but also for popularity. (Although, the ana issue, is more of an issue to me.) Eliana is ranked at 125, which I thought wasn't bad, but then I realized that Ellie is in the top 100, and is a common nn for all the El names. Namenerds has Eliana at 74, which isn't horrible to me, I could live with that. 

I found Liliana two weeks ago and really liked it and thought it could be it... I thought maybe I liked it enough that my "issues" wouldn't matter, but slowly they crept back in. Liliana is ranked at 122 on SSA, but it's 55 on namenerds... That's a lot higher than I'd like. 

I've tried to find unusual names... Adria, Allegra, Aurelina. I feel with Adria and Aurelina that I was trying too hard. I actually really like Allegra- the meaning, origin, the originality, everything... but I got so much backlash from it, that I'm afraid to use it. 

I have Lorelei (ranked at 501), Marina (ranked at 600), and even Cecelia (Cecilia at 223) which are aren't as popular as some of the others. I thought for awhile that I should go with one of them, they would fulfill my qualification... but I don't like them as much... I could grow to love them possibly, Idk.

Even Alina (253) was found to wipe out the Eliana/Elena/Eleanor group, but I have a cousin Lina and that turned me off on the name.

I really feel like I'm at a loss, I've tried finding new names so many times, I don't think there's a name I haven't seen.

22
By mk
September 26, 2014 12:49 AM

For what it's worth, my name is a top 10 name for my birth year and I have met very few people with my name, none in elementary school. I have never met a Madison, another top 10 name. So overall popularity really doesn't mean much. Local/state trends are better.

23
September 26, 2014 8:27 AM

The names on my list that made the top 100 for IL are:

Amelia 10

Aria 40

Eleanor 56

Stella 79

Liliana 90

Nicknames- Lily (29) and Ellie (78)

24
September 24, 2014 4:30 PM

I love Ariadne Wallace--if you're looking for a more distinctive way of getting at Aria, this seems like a good choice.

I don't see a problem with using the Cecelia spelling, if you love it best; I also don't see any barrier to using the nickname Cece with full name Cecilia, though.

Stella Wallace--this is too close to Stella Dallas for me. A powerful take on motherhood, but still not an association I would want for my daughter.

25
September 24, 2014 5:00 PM

Ariadne is unheard of, which I think is really what I want deep down.

I prefer the Cecelia spelling, Cecilia doesn't look right to me. I wouldn't want to create a spelling issue (this is the only name on my list not spelled "right"), but I dislike Cecilia spelling.

Tell me about Stella Dallas, I've never heard of it.

26
September 24, 2014 5:11 PM

Stella Dallas was a movie--actually two movies--about a working class girl who marries a rich, prince-charming type man...but then her outrageous, déclassé behavior (too many ruffles on her dress! etc.) causes him to divorce her. She eventually leaves her daughter with him so that she can grow up with all the privileges of class that Stella never had. Years later Stella wants to reconnect with her grown daughter, but the daughter now fits in with her father and step-mother's world, and Stella is left literally out in the snow looking through a window at the happy family. The 1937 Barbra Stanwyck version is the more famous.

The Cecelia spelling seems fine to me--I can understand why you like the look better; both Cece and Celia are names in their own right, where Ceci and Cilia seem like misspellings (especially Cilia, which reminds me of amoeba tails).

Have you thought about the name Aurelia? It's a Latin/Italian name meaning golden, which I think has the nice flow with Wallace that you like with Cecelia and Amelia.

27
September 24, 2014 5:49 PM

Sounds like a sad movie, I can't blame her daughter for turning her back on her after she abandoned her, though. I can't imagine doing that, no matter how poor I was.

Cecelia is my only "mispelling" on my list, but I just like it better than Cecilia. It's not completely outrageous, it is the second most common spelling.  

I like Aurelina with and without Wallace, but my concern is the pronounciation. I've heard it pronounced a few ways but the most common way is Awe-rail-ya. I'd be more open to Or-Reh-lee-uh.

28
September 24, 2014 7:05 PM

Where I grew up there's an Aurelius Road, pronounced O-reel-yus, so that pronunciation (Or-REEL-ia) is firmly in my mind. My text-to-speech (British accent) engine says it Or-lee-uh, which surprised me.

Stella Dallas doesn't abandon her daughter--she takes her with her after the divorce and devotes her whole life to making her happy. But it becomes clear that her daughter is growing up with Stella's "low-class" tendencies and will eventually have the same problems fitting into her father's sphere that Stella did, so Stella gives her up to her father for her own good. It's a horrible, tragic sacrifice, kind of hard to understand now with so much more liberal attitudes to class.

Good luck!

29
September 24, 2014 7:45 PM

I think pronounciation would be a huge issue with Aurelia, which makes mee want to avoid it.

That's such a tragic story! I think now it would be considered abandonment, if she didn't have contact with her daughter after giving her up... but I'm assuming in 1937 (Was there child support back then?) she thought she was doing what she thought was right to give her daughter a better life.

Thank you.

30
By EVie
September 24, 2014 11:11 PM

I rarely say this, since we're all here because we love talking about and thinking about names, but I think you're overthinking it. As others have said, there's no such thing as a perfect name--they've all got their downsides. If you continuously focus on the negatives of all your choices, you're going to have niggling doubts even after you settle on a name. 

Forget the flow with your last name. Some of them may sound weird to you because you've said them too many times in your head or because you're actively looking for problems, but nearly every poster who has responded here has told you that there's nothing wrong with Aurora Wallace or Stella Wallace or any of the others. Trust us. Even if it seems awkward at first, after a few months of saying your daughter's name repeatedly, you'll get used to it and wonder why you ever thought there was a problem.

Forget popularity. It's not the end of the world to have your daughter share a name with some others, and popular doesn't mean what it used to mean. You will regret it more if you pass on a name you love than if you occasionally meet another kid with the same name.

Once your daughter becomes a toddler, you will be saying her name about twenty million times a day. "Aurora, come here, please! Aurora, no! Aurora, don't pull the kitty's tail! Aurora, what do you have in your mouth? Aurora, please sit down! Aurora, where are you going?" What name do you enjoy saying the most? Which one sounds like music to you? Don't think about negatives, just go with your gut.

I would pick Aurora for you, because I think it's the one you love and I think the flow with Wallace is a total non-issue.

My second choice would be Ariadne, with Aria as a nickname. I don't think it's too out there at all, and in fact, it's on my own list. I also know a little Ariadne (her sister is Miranda). And I don't think it's at all stupid to put one name on the birth certificate and use another as a nickname, especially if you're fine with her choosing to use the full name later in life. It kind of sounds to me like you've been defending/talking yourself around to Ariadne in these posts, which is a good sign.

If you're really stuck, you could try doing a tournament bracket. Quick, snap decision, don't overthink it: Adria vs. Alina. (I would choose Adria). Allegra vs. Amelia (I would choose Allegra). Adria vs. Allegra (Allegra) And so on through your list until you have a winner.

31
September 24, 2014 11:42 PM

I know that I'm overthinking it. I was the kid who named every Barbie doll/Bratz doll she had and I still remember their names. I had a baby name book and I referred to it whenever I got a new doll. I would change my sister's dolls names cause they were never pretty enough to me... that type of kid.

I fully expect that I will regret whichever name ends up on her bc. I have until Monday morning to make the decision, I suppose I could wait it out a little longe, but she will 2 weeks old, she needs a name.

Aurora sounds horrible with both my maiden name and Wallace (to me) so I knew going into it, if I used both names or just his that there would be an issue... but I love Stella with my maiden name. I've suggested hyphenating the name, but her dad doesn't want that because my last name is 10 letters long, and a 17 letter last name is too much for a kid. Also, if it was hyphenated, at some point, only one last name would be used daily, and usually the middle last name is out. My sister is trying to name the baby for me and is calling her Stella all the time. My mom asked me if I finally named her since my sister just kept saying Stella this, Stella that. I'm angry when I hear her say it, and I think it's because I don't want to use Wallace, I want to use just my name.

I've called her every name on my list... I stopped looking at names, thinking about names for 5 days after she was born thinking it would come to me, but nothing. 

I'm going to keep saying Aurora Wallace, Aurora Wallace, Aurora Wallace, maybe if people keep telling me it's ok, I'll believe it.

You're right, I think I've defended Ariadne more than any other name on here (except for my Cecelia spelling maybe)- I'm not really sure where it came from. Aria is definitely a faavorite, but deep down I want something different, something that will turn heads, something that no one else has... I think it feels the Allegra void- a name I don't have the guts to name her because of the allergy med. It livens up Wallace. I like the meaning "most holy". My grandfather loves it, my family for the most part honors the Italian side, I think I'd be the first to go with the Greek. I like the trendy, overly common nn. You gave me something to think about, thank you.

I've tried the tournament thing before and once I limit some, I go back and say I love that name, and put it right back.

 

32
September 25, 2014 3:59 AM

Woah, I think we're now getting somewhere here. It sounds to me like the surname issues are far bigger than the first name issues, here, and I think those need to be resolved before you move on. It sounds like the surname issue is a big part of what's driving the first name issue, actually -- you think (and I don't agree, but this is your kid!) that your top choices sound terrible with his surname, and you want to use yours, but he wants to use his.

Happily, I think there's an obvious solution -- use both names.

I know a lot of grownups and kids who are rocking hyphenated names, and they are far clunkier than _____-Wallace or Wallace-_____. Wallace is the simple, straightforward sort of surname that hyphenates really WELL, even with a longer partner. 

I don't think it's true that the middle name of a hyphenated name gets dropped (or the last name, either). In fact, using the hyphen seems to really force the "no, you're going to use BOTH of these, as it's ALL the surname" issue. The more soft-sell is giving a double surname like "Giordano Wallace", no hyphen -- there, it does tend to happen more easily that the name contracts down to just Giordano.

(And if little Stella or Ariadne or whatever Giordano-Wallace ends up thinking that a 17 letter name is too long, then it's quite easy and straightforward to change a surname by court order. She could move either Giordano or Wallace to a middle name slot and I doubt it would make a huge ripple either way. I think I'd leave the decision about whether that's too much surname in her court, and just resolve to support her decision no matter what it ends up being later on.)

I think that you guys need to get the surname issue sorted to a way that is satisfactory and fair to both of you. And only then can you tackle first names.

The way this sort of dispute would go down at our household would be to make the surname Lombardi-Wallace or whatever, since you both seem to feel equally strongly about passing down your surnames, and then be equal partners in picking the first name as well, where any name that is not loved by both parties is unceremoniously and permanently eliminated, because you're naming a child jointly. You said YOU (singular) tried the tournament, but did you and your husband do it together? I really only found it a fun exercise to do as a partner activity. I'm guessing that the tension about the surname is what's making him say things like that he'd be okay with Aurora if you really wanted it, because he wants the surname spot... but honestly, I think the best start you can give your child in life is a name that reflects a parental united front, because I think parenting involves being a united front a lot, and it's good to start on as you mean to go on.

I would also encourage you to view the tournament not as a chance to find your top favorite name ever, but rather to find a name for this particular human. I have a long list of names that I love that will never be used on human children. Some because they don't work for the Spouse, some because they don't work with our surname, some because they just don't feel like my child. You are applying a name to this baby, not crowning the best name of all time. You need to find the best name for this baby, which might not be your favorite name of all time at all, nor your partner's. Sometimes it might be (my eldest's name is like this for me) but sometimes it might NOT be (my middle child's name is like this for me -- not my favorite at all, but I loved how much the spouse loved it and it felt right). I feel no regrets about either of their names, for what it's worth, and I love them both.

34
September 25, 2014 5:04 PM

Dad is unwilling to hyphenate and he is very aware of how much I want it. (It would be Stella). I could give up Aurora because with either name it wouldn't work. We've gone back and forth of this numerous times and he has an old fashioned way of thinking where the child has dad's name- no questions asked. Also, that the last names together would be too long... I somewhat agree with that, I think she will struggle in kindergarten/1st grade to write that all out on every paper. So I could see a teacher saying to just pick one. 

What she chooses as an adult would be fine to me, if she wanted to drop one, change the order, it would be up to her. But as a child, I'd want both there, and I'm not sure it would work out that way. I feel maybe Stella should be off the table because I will feel far to resentful having her name be Stella Wallace or it being shortened to this in school,cause it's easier than my name..

Dad would be far more interested in naming her if she was a boy. He had a list of boy names and when we found out it was a girl, the only name he suggested was Brynn, which I changed to Brynna, he said ok. He keeps telling me to decide, he's seen every list I've made... Brynna was the one he preferred until I found Liliana which he said was better. I love Amelia with Wallace and he said that's pretty. The only other name he commented on was Aurora and he said it's a princess, I don't like it. But as time went on, he said if you want to use it use it... and now it's decide already. He's already lost his patience. 

35
September 25, 2014 6:59 PM

So I think that if Dad is unwilling to hyphenate because it is too long, then the obvious solution is to use YOUR surname because you are not the one who is throwing kind of feeble technicalities in the way of the reasonable compromise. You could then put his name in as a middle name (or a second middle name), where the objections about length disappear because you only use the middle name when it's convenient. I have a name like this (took spouse's name as a middle) and it's a very nice compromise - I enjoy using the whole thing when there's space, but I have just one surname when it's easier.

However, honestly I can promise you that if you hyphenate, your daughter would be Aria G-W in kindergarten and first grade. My kindergartener, whom I tend to think of as rather bright and clever and advanced (because I'm his mother) does not write his full name, ever. And if a teacher ever suggested that a child "pick one" of a hyphenated surname, I am pretty sure I would go ballistic with them and the school administrators, and also call the press, because hello insensitive cultural assumptions. You've got to respect people's names, and that includes surnames. I would have a very impressive fit if someone decided to just use "Garden" as our non-English-language surname "Because it's easier and less complicated!" 

I swear I'm a more mellow easy going person than the above paragraph indicates, but this is a topic where I get really stabby. Our family didn't even hyphenate, because we had one surname that we were strongly attached to and one surname that was much more generic, but if we'd had two surnames that we had attachment to, you can bet that our family unit would bear them both.

I am in general having a very hard time with the series of issues that your husband brings up, which are far more troublesome than "just" a naming conundrum. He'd be more interested in naming a boy child?! (And not just "I have more boys names that I like", but actually being more interested in naming a child based on their genitalia?) Children just automatically get their father's surname, even if the mother does not find this a palatable option?! Er. There's not a whole lot I can say about this while remaining diplomatic, except that I would not be finding a lot of joy in jointly naming with someone like this on board as my naming partner either, and I think this might be the deeper issue that is complicating your ability to pick one of your very lovely first name choices.

Have you levelled with him about how much you are annoyed by these things? Because I sure would.

36
September 25, 2014 7:34 PM

Oh, and about first names. I like Ariadne for you. The common nickname, unusual full name is a great combination. I think Aria as a nickname actually eliminates my primary difficulty with Ariadne, which is confusion about which way the As are pronounced. (Ah-ree or Ay-ree? ADD-ne or ODD-ne?)

Lilliana is much more generic to me, and also a lot more common than the name itself would suggest with all of the many Lil- names (which are quite common where I live). And your husband's liking it best is carrying less weight the more I am finding out about his unwillingness to consider compromises in the surname sector and his general lack of investment in naming female offspring. Plus, I find Lilliana Wallace or Lily Wallace to be a bit more tongue-twistery - not deal-breaker if it's your favorite, but enough to consider it... and Wallace is a very generic, expected sort of surname, so I think pairing it with a more distinguished first name is more to my taste.

37
September 25, 2014 7:40 PM

Also, I think you should not be having people lose patience with you about the naming issue. You (presumably) just pushed a person out of your personal anatomy 9 days ago, or had someone surgically remove a person from your personal anatomy in the same timeframe. Either way, I think that your family owes you some patience and understanding here, and I think that everyone can just call the baby "Baby girl!" or "Dumpling!" or "Sweetie darling cupcake!" or what have you for a little longer without the world ending. Postpartum hormones can be hard, and you're the only one having to deal with them here.

 

38
September 25, 2014 8:10 PM

Everyone is irritated with me. My family and Dad are pushing me to fill out the bc on Monday and I don't feel ready. I'm mourning the loss of Aurora and Stella (and Stella upsets me more, because I had a way for it to work).

My sister posted a pic of my daughter with the caption, Stella today and that really pissed me off, because I've repeatedly asked her to stop doing that. My mom texted me the other day because she wouldm't stop saying Stella this, Stella that... Sis thinks I need a push in the right direction and if I hear everyone say Stella, I'll follow suit... I can't tell you how frustrated it makes me!

How do you feel about Serafina? Someone at the bottom of the thread suggested it by saying like Aurora, it has the connotation of the heavens/angels... It's Italian with a Hebrew origin, not in the top 1000, and sounds decent with wallace.

When I looked at the name it was with the PH but I like the F, it makes it feel Italian, and I think it has enough flare to balance out wallace... 

39
September 25, 2014 8:38 PM

I like Serafina. It's a little more frilly than my personal tastes, but I like that it has the Italian flair, and the nicknames are pleasing.

What I would do in your shoes is fill out the BC with a hyphenated surname. I don't think it initiates a pissing contest about which last name is the "real" last name, because that's what a hyphen means: the WHOLE THING, both names, is included in the surname. If that option doesn't work, then I would fill out the BC with your surname, and your partner can take you to court and convert it to a hyphenated surname... putting you into the same place, which I think is a good place to be - both surnames. Pick a first name that assumes that both names will go in there in the long run - that's a fair, reasonable thing, I think, when the parents are gridlocked in this way.

I suspect what happened with your friend from high school is that she made the decision to use one surname more than the other. Your daughter might do that when SHE is in high school, but in the meantime, the hyphenation really isn't that unusual and more and more kids have hyphenated surnames (or surnames that are not-Dad's surname).

You could spin to your husband also the possibility that girls have your surname and boys have his, which might work for him because of the lesser naming involvement in girl offspring (which I am having a hard time even typing without making huffy angry noises).

 

 

40
September 25, 2014 8:50 PM

I love my last name and I have all sisters, but my name will carry on since I have many male cousins. Stella is the only name where I feel strongly that my name should be included. I feel like I shouldn't have to give it up over his last name, when my name would do. I wouldn't hyphenate or just use my name unless I did choose Stella. If he said right now that I could have just my name on the bc, she would have a name.

Giving his position on not naming his daughter, it surprises me how much he is stressing his last name... I would think he wouldn't care.

41
September 26, 2014 4:43 AM

This is vaguely reminding me of a lovely young woman who wrote to Swistle some time ago -- http://www.swistle.com/babynames/2011/08/12/baby-naming-issues-avoiding-a-teen-mother-sounding-name-non-coupled-parents-working-together-to-choose-a-name-edited/ -  not for obvious reasons, but she was also in a situation where she was not married to her daughter's father and at initial writing felt that they should use his surname... and I think their name divide in terms of the first names that she and the father liked were similar to what you have. In the end, she ended up putting his surname as a second middle (a decision that was informed by a lot of comments about people who had lived through the child role in similar situations), and the whole naming saga wrapped up in a very satisfactory way - might be a fun read just to get away from your own naming dilemma for a moment, and to reassure you that you may well end up with a name you love.

Anyway, I would encourage you to make sure that your surname gets included somewhere if things are not certain in terms of you and your daughter's father continuing to remain coupled, and if you love and feel connected to your surname. I'm not sure that what "he says you could have" is necessarily a legitimate way of framing the question if he is being thoroughly uncooperative, and if you guys are not necessarily long-term partners in life/parenting.

42
September 26, 2014 11:39 AM

Wow!  There's been a lot going on in this conversation.  I'll try to cover the points that stood out to me.

Your sister is being an ass.  Say it with me, she is being an ass.  Did she post the picture of the baby on FB or something?  If so, I would post back a reply stating that "Stella is not her name.  We are still undecided on her name. Please do not call her Stella."   Maybe a bit of public shaming will get her to stop.  Or maybe I'm just really huffy and angry on your behalf.  She really is being quite rude.

The rest of your family is not helping!  I agree 100% with Lucabratix that people should be more empathetic towards your situation.  They are being bullies and it's just not helping the situation at all.  Feel free to show them our comments. Maybe seeing it from random internet strangers will make them realize just how not-nice their behavior is.  I'm feeling a bit stabby about the whole situation and wish I could give you a hug.  

I don't think you need to worry about some teacher forcing her to drop one name in a hyphenated surname.  I work for a school district and have seen lots of hyphenated surnames (and a few hyphenated first names) and have NEVER known anyone who has even considered asking a child to drop one of the names. Generally speaking, most people I've encountered tend to be fairly understanding (or at least tolerant) of families with hyphenated names.  And Lucabratix is right, young kids don't write their whole names on anything.  It's always first name or first name with last initial at most. By the the time a full name is required, they are at least old enough to make an informed decision for themselves.

Dad is just frustrating, to say the last.  I am very bothered by the fact he isn't interested in naming girls, but would be interested in naming boys.  I'm also very bothered by the fact that he's essentially told you your last name is off the table.  I'm sorry, but that just isn't how co-parenting should work.  If you want to use your last name, or a hyphenated last name, you get a say. It's your child too.  A lot of parenting decisions require compromise, and parents need to support each other.  This kind of "because I said so" behavior is not conducive to the compromising and supporting that will be required later.  If it isn't already happening, some serious conversations are going to need to occur to ensure that you can both learn how to work together to make joint decisions regarding your child.

All that said, you've stated you only want to use your last name (or a hyphenated last name) if you go with Stella.  This makes me think you aren't committed to using your surname for reasons other than flow.  I'm just not sure that flow should be the only deciding factor in a child's surname.  For example, what happens for other kids if you put your foot down and give Stella your last name?  Will you decide the surnames for all future children based on flow?  Will you insist all children get hyphenated surnames?  Or perhaps girls get yours and boys get his?  I guess for me, this is a question that requires a long-term answer.  The surname you give your daughter is setting a precedent for future children.  I'll also 2nd Lucabratix's comment that "if you guys are not necassarily long-term partners in life/parenting" that you should make sure your name is included.

Serafina is very pretty, and I think the "f" spelling is lovely.  It meets your Italian requirement and seems consistent with your overall name style.  In fact, I think Serafina is probably closer Ariadne as far being uncommon.  It also has a lot of great nickname options if you/she were to ever want them.  I've always had a particular fondness for Fi.  

Whatever happens, I hope you will continue to check in with us.  At the very least, I hope you post a name announcement once you have decided (and not necassarily on Monday).

 

43
September 26, 2014 1:02 PM

Yes, this post really blew up. I think the first name is actually a small part of what is going on, but just that one decision, brings forth so many other issues for me.

My sister is being an ass and my father spoke with her this morning, cause I told him how I was felling about it. It's not helping! It's making me more angry everytime I hear it. Yes, she put my daughter's picture up with the caption, Stella on facebook, and everyone was liking it and commenting on it. I asked her to remove it privately- which she did, but my FB page is full of friends saying I love the name! and that crap... My mom texted me the other asking me if that was the name, since she calls/texts people to talk about Stella. My parents are notifying family/friends that this isn't her name, but I still have some old high school friends believeing this is her name on fb... it's a mess really. 

At the same time, my parents are pushing me to decide... Monday is the deadline. Dad wants to sign the paternity for the bc, he's taking off work... I've said repeatedly, go to work, I'm not ready... I will show them this post, I think it displays my feelings on this much more rationally, than the way I've been expressing them in person. 

If Stella's out, the whole idea with hyphenating probably is too. I wanted it specifically for flow. It seems worth fighting for before my sister made such a joke out of the name, it really turned me off to it.

My relationship with my daughter's dad is up in the air. We've been all over the place in the last 9-10 months (we were together over 2 years prior to the pregnancy). I do want more children, it's left to be determined if he will be their father. He is frustrating to deal with. His ambivalance is unflattering to me. I wonder how many decisions will be mine alone.

I will update all of you when she's named. I got an idea on this post to write my list again but only commenting on why I like the name... I hope this will narrow some down.

 

 

 

44
September 25, 2014 7:50 PM

I'd pronounce it Ah-ree-ADD-ne. I agree, I like the unusual full name, common nickname. I like how it livens up the boring, generic Wallace.

The ana thing still bothers me with Liliana, probably more so than the popularity of it. Although that is a concern, SSA has it at 122 for 2013 (and it's on the rise, if it was on a decline, I wouldn't worry), but namenerds ranked it at 55, which is high. And Lily is so popular, Dad and his family would shorten it, probably to Lily (they all have nn's in that family). And I do think that Lily Wallace is L heavy.

I feel like I've been looking in vain for something different or that will turn heads and most of the time, I feel like I'm trying too hard (Aurelina for example). I really like Allegra, I would use it, but i got so much backlash from Dad's family and my non-Italian friends, that I don't think I have the guts to name her that. My family loves it, though. Ariadne doesn't hold the same stigma Allegra does and fills that void. 

45
September 25, 2014 7:39 PM

He's aware of how exasperated I am with him and naming this baby with him. I've suggested just using my last name and he said we'd go to court to get it hyphenated (when he really doesn't want it hyphenated, but he knows in court, I will not be asked to drop mine,so hyphenation would be his only option) if I wanted to be that way. He's convinced (and trying to convince me)that if we did hyphenate that his name would prevail, as mine will be dropped for length, pronounciation issues, etc... 

I had a friend in school with a hyphenated name and her middle one wasn't on school documents by high school, only the second name was used. Maybe that's changed now? I graduated in 07.

With the exception of Aurora which wouldn't work with either name, Stella is the only one that I dislike with Wallace. I think if we did hyphenate it, it would turn into a pissing contest between the two of us to make sure our own last name isn't forgotten. For example- on forms that won't fit Wallace after my name he'd be upset, or if she wrote just Wallace in school because she was told to, or because she forgot how to spell my name, I may be upset, I don't want to become that person... I just don't think it's worth it to name her Stella. 

I don't feel like I am naming her with him. I've asked for his opinion on every name and he responded on only 4 out of the countless names that I looked at. He's not a part of the process as far as I'm concerned. He just wants the last name. He doesn't even have an opinion on Stella and that's the name causing so many problems. I've asked do you like it? Do you hate it? And he says just pick if that's what you want... which is not an opinion in my book! 

46
September 25, 2014 10:39 PM

To me the "if we hyphenate, your name will just get dropped" argument is ridiculous. And even if it WERE true, then so what? Why not hyphenate then? Probably because he knows that isn't actually a legit argument, and that if any name gets dropped, it might well be HIS last name, because maybe your daughter will love having a less generic surname. I know I do.

It sounds like his version of the compromise is "I get the surname, you do whatever you want with the first name." This is not a compromise that would work well for me or my family, but is it one that feels right to you?

I feel a bit terrible saying this in case it is not applicable at all here, but if there's any possibility that he won't be an equal custodial caregiving parent for your daughter's entire childhood, I would think carefully about just giving him the surname spot wholesale. I know a lot of people who had children in a troubled-ish sort of relationship and where it then later was a source of sadness/resentment that the child had a surname of a parent whose parenting was more of a genetic contribution but did not extend to ongoing equal involvement. I think that a hyphenated surname is a particularly good choice if a relationship is a little troubled.

47
September 25, 2014 11:42 PM

If I hyphenated it, I would hope that my daughter would like my last name and want to use it. It's very ethnic (Italian) and somewhat uncommon and quite a contrast to the generic Wallace. It would hyphenate nicely. We aren't married, but if we were I would hyphenate it. Gianna Wallace isn't horrible, but it wouldn't feel like me.

His compromise is just that, I could name her Apple, Blue, or North and as long as I paired it with Wallace and only Wallace, I have no reason to believe he wouldn't be fine with it. He feels I'm unreasonable for wanting to include my name, because it goes against tradition.

My dad and sister feel our last name should be included for the same reason you stated. I let them know how Dad feels and my dad has dropped it, but my sister hasn't. Another reason why she's pushing Stella so much, cause that's where I want the hyphen.

48
September 26, 2014 1:55 AM

Actually when parents are not married, it is entirely traditional for the child to have the mother's surname.  So giving your daughter your surname and your surname alone would in fact be following tradition.  It is of course also acceptable to give the child the father's surname or to use both names with a hyphen.  The point is that the argument that the father's name is traditional is not accurate for this particular situation.

49
September 26, 2014 4:16 AM

Yes, exactly! (And Gianna Marie, I'm sorry I assumed that your daughter's father is your husband - not a good assumption at all. I think I saw a reference to your maiden name somewhere and my brain somehow put that together to assume that you were married and presumably hyphenated.)

50
September 26, 2014 8:55 AM

I got married very young and got a divorce a few years ago (no kids in the marriage, my daughter is my first child). I didn't change my name back at the time of the divorce, but since I became pregnant with my daughter, I decided to change my name back and I'm in the process of it now- hence the maiden reference.

If I were to marry my daughter's father, I would hyphenate my name.