Sister for Violet, Scott, & Simon

I’m 30 weeks and horribly stuck. I think I’ve considered every name and I love so many. My husband doesn’t love many ;) This is our last and I really want to chose the right name.

In the running:

Vivian (too similar to Violet?)

Phoebe

Lila (husband’s favorite)

Names I love but he’s rejected: Olive, Tabitha, Magnolia, Fiona.

What do you guys think?

Replies

1
February 3, 2019 4:57 AM

I think Vivian and Violet would be fine,  then the boys would be S letters and the girls V and 2 ending in N - so I think Vivian is perfect and the boys are 5 letters and the girls 6

Phoebe is nice,  not keen on Lila

I wouldnt have Olive either 2 colours/nature names,  oh shame about Fiona

what about Vera, Valma, Valerie, Vanessa, Victoria, Veronica, Viviana, Viveka, Verona, Virginia

to have 2 ending in t and 2 in n - what about Evelyn, Lilian, Lauren, Alison, Imogen, Sharon, Fern, Adalyn, Erin,  Jocelyn, Helen, Kathleen, Kirsten, Susan, Suellen, Gwendalyn, Colleen, Emlyn, Bronwyn, Joan, Maryann, Maureen, Carolyn, Eileen, Ellen,

others Julia, Celia, Cecilia, Amelia, Natalia, Cordelia, Odelia, Magdalene, Finola, Nola, Winola, Gwenola, Fenella, Felicia, Felicity, Fidelma, Philippa, Lilith, Lilliana, Stella, Lucy, Lydia, Claire Caroline, Alice, Cora, Penelope, Clara, Matilda, Eleanor, Clementine, Beatrice, Genevieve, Grace, Adeline, Josephine, Jane, Beatrix

2
February 3, 2019 2:34 PM

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply and suggestions.  I think many people will notice their shared first initial but probably not their shared ending sounds. I noticed that right off the bat however. I’m going to have to give this lots of thought!

3
February 3, 2019 4:22 PM

I think Vivian is perfect, different no of syllables and not as matchy as the others - lovely name, and people wouldnt even notice the matchy matchy of it

4
February 3, 2019 9:49 AM

I don't think Vivian is too similar to Violet, the way I pronounce them they don't really share any sounds beyond the initial V (and even that is mitigated by the following i having a different sound in each) so I don't think I'd find myself tripping over them or mixing them up any more than I do with completely different names. There is no denying that if this is your last baby Vivian would close the set very well; girls with V's boys with S's, older two ending in t younger two ending in n. For me personally that would make the whole set tip over the line into 'overly cute matchy' but that is very subjective and other people would no doubt find it to be charming or a nice link between them or possibly not even notice at all so I don't think that's a reason not to use it. Basically if you and your husband (and your older daughter who depending on age maybe deserves a vote) are ok with the similarity to Violet then I think it's fine. 

Phoebe and Lila I think are both pretty and work well in the set without having the overly matching quality of Vivian. I think either one would be a good choice. 

It's hard to say which name is the right name for you as you haven't actually told us anything about why you like them; eg if one holds more personal meaning to you that would maybe trump one that you love purely on sound, but then if one is a name you have loved for years that might win out over one with a connection to a family member. Assuming that these final three are all names you love (as you said you love so many I'm guessing that only ones you love made the short list) and that you love them fairly equally then I'd probably give the edge to Lila as that is your husband's favourite and why not have one you both love. If you actually love one of the other two more then that's different and further discussion is required (you could then consider things like if one of you got your favourite name/first pick more often with the older three, if your planned middle name has more meaning/connection to one of you or one side of the family, and that you are the one doing the work in this pregnancy ;)). You could also consider the option of removing one name and letting your children vote between the remaining two as a special way to have them involved if they're old enough. Or simply keep the list at three names until she's born and then see if one suits her more. 

5
February 3, 2019 2:40 PM

As a set Vivian bothers me too as overly matchy-matchy. At first I was dead set on no S or V names but as things developed I found  I just have strong tastes! You’re right about how the other kids opinions have played into the naming process. My daughter Violet is 12 and loooooves Vivian. My husband loves Lila, but even though I like it, I can’t help but feel it will just get lumped in with all the Layla’s, Lola’s, Lily’s, and even Ella’s... I lean toward Phoebe but my hubby likes Vivian more than Phoebe. Thanks!

6
February 3, 2019 1:12 PM

I think that Violet and Lila are more similar than Violet and Vivian. That being said, neither Vivian nor Lila crosses into the "matchy matchy" territory, in the way that Violet and Rose or Violet and Viola would. I know a pair of sisters named Lila and Violet and think it's a lovely combination of names. Vivian and Phoebe are also nice. 

7
February 3, 2019 2:48 PM

Quite often we refer to Violet and Vi and Simon as Si. I worry we’d do the same with Lila.... Li. Not only do I not love Li but my poor Scotty doesn’t have a long vowel in his name :) This is all me just being very picky but thanks for your thoughtful reply! Violet and Lila are great sister names. And I do agree with you that even though Vivian starts with V, Lila actually sounds more matchy with Violet!

8
February 3, 2019 8:44 PM

Weirdly, the family that I know also has a son, whose name is almost identical to the last four letters of your username. He has an 'e' in between the 'l' and the 'y'. They like that long i / l combination!

9
February 3, 2019 9:43 PM

Just want to say that I love your name style! 

We have Simon, Andrew, and Lily. Other names we were considering for Lily were Violet and Hazel. 

Of your choices I‘d probably go with Lila.

11
February 4, 2019 4:02 AM

I wouldn't use Lila: not only does it repeat the strong I sound and the L, but it's also a word for "purple" in German and maybe also in use in Spanish along with morado and violeta... and in any case even just in English, it's very close to Lilac, another purple flower.

I think that using another V- name does create the effect that you were going for a matched set, letter-wise, especially since Simon and Scott are very different name styles to me. Two's a coincidence, three and four is a pattern. I think that's neither reason to do it nor to avoid it, just something to be aware of.

Have you tried using the Matchmaker on this site, perhaps to give your husband long lists to surf through?

12
February 4, 2019 4:31 AM

It is indeed the Spanish word for purple, and I would expect that to be commented upon when the sisters go backpacking in South America in 20 years time!

13
February 10, 2019 2:58 AM

Ah excellent! I definitely learned violeta in middle school, maybe that it was in also sometimes called púrpura in high school, and where I live now I more often hear morado (the local Latino community derives in large part from two very specific Mexican communities). I think lila was encountered in literature classes in college, and as such I wasn't sure if it was archaic or very flowery (literally) language, or whether it was actually in regular circulation as a major color name (the way it definitely is in German). 

14
February 10, 2019 12:44 PM

This is so interesting to me; I too live in a place with a high Hispanic population and purple is almost always morado/a. I do think it depends to what the speaker is referring?  And/or it may be a dialect thing; although there are many Hispanic people here, I'd venture to say that few of them are actually from Spain and most are Latin American.  I've also heard violeta and purpura but I've never heard lila.  My own Spanish is serviceable but hardly perfection, though.

15
February 10, 2019 2:00 PM

I think it is a dialect thing in part, but some of it is also that purple encompasses a range of colors.

violeta is, well, violet — bright reddish purple like the flower. morado is a deeper duskier more berry-like purple (it’s referencing the name of a berry). Lila is lilac, so a pale pastel purple. It’s an issue of which one you want to think of as the default catch-all category name to cover the post-blue color in the rainbow, and that’s I think where dialects start to matter more. (Orange the fruit was blessed by being the only reference point — I think the color designation didnt exist until oranges were introduced into English, before that color was just a subcategory of red.)

Púrpura is also a more reddish purple, so could be more of a synonym for violeta, buy I think it’s more archaic — used to discuss that purple of robes made from that endangered mollusc in Roman times to signal nobility. Purpur is used in German in the same way — i know a nursery song that use it to refer to the robe of a mushroom but it’s definitely a more archaic term not in daily use like when your kid is throwing a fit that he wants the purple cup.

i feel like a sorry substitute for Miriam in this post!

16
February 10, 2019 6:17 PM

Thank you for the trip through the colour purple!

I think there's definitely dialect going on though. Lila is THE word I hear most often here. I asked the native speaker of the house if lila, violeta, púrpura and morada were different colours for him and he said they probably were but he couldn't think what the difference was. ;-) My daughter at two and a half only uses lila ... at least when I'm not trying to ram the English word down her throat.

So perhaps backpacking in Latin America will be less of a problem for  sisters Violet and Lila than studying abroad in Spain!

17
February 10, 2019 10:52 PM

It's funny, I've never thought of violets as reddish at all--to me they're a very blue/gray purple. Apparently, that's because the type of violet that is native throughout much of the US is the common blue violet. Presumably the European varieties that were originally connected to the color were pinker.

18
February 11, 2019 5:38 AM

This reminds me of an old skit from SNL way back when Homeland Security was created and they had color-coded emergency alerts. Here is the SNL text I managed to Google:

Now, what precisely do these threat levels indicate? Condition OFF-WHITE, the lowest level, indicates a huge risk of terrorist attack. Next highest, condition CREAM: an immense risk of terrorist attack. Condition PUTTY: an enormous risk of terrorist attack. Condition BONE: a gigantic risk of terrorist attack. And finally, the most serious, condition NATURAL: an enormous risk of terrorist attack.

Many of you probably noticed that in the preceding chart, we used the term “Enormous risk of terrorist attack” twice. This was a mistake we didn’t catch in time and we’re trying to fix it.

One last point, at my request and effective immediately, the President has placed the nation on Condition TAUPE. More on that in the weeks and months ahead.

Yes, I know this doesn't help OP! I like Vivian.

19
By EVie
February 11, 2019 12:52 PM

This is a fascinating conversation! I, too, am a sorry substitute for Miriam, but I looked up "orange" on etymonline.com and found this nugget, along with other interesting details:

Not used as a color word until 1540s (colors similar to modern orange in Middle English might be called citrine or saffron).

20
February 4, 2019 4:34 PM

I don't think anyone's said too much yet about Phoebe - which seems like the perfect choice, if Vivian and Lila clash too much with Violet.

 

Otherwise, I find Vivian quite a fun addition to this set. Yes, it does make everything matchy-matchy but it's not jarring or overly cutesy.

21
February 4, 2019 6:47 PM

The more I read this thread and your replies to people the more I think Phoebe is the best choice for you; it has the same kind of vibe as Violet to me, sounds nice in the set and is the only name that doesn't seem to present any problems in relation to the older three. Really the only thing you've said against it at all is that it's bottom of the top three for your husband but that still means he's ok'd it and getting a name that's #3 on your list is not bad. If you don't already have a middle decided you could make her Phoebe Lila to get both favourites in but avoid the 'similar sounds to Violet/Li nickname/lost in the crowd' downsides of Lila as a first name. 

22
February 9, 2019 6:05 AM

such lovely names already! i agree that vivian is too similar, but only because it starts with a VI like VIolet. you could still use a v name like veronica, but i suggest avoiding VI names as much as possible. pheobe and violet are very fittung, but i cant help but feel that lila has a very different vibe. still sounds good together though!

you might love these ones too xoxo

harper

lorna

lavender

primrose

verona

veronica

fern

marlowe

emelyn

everleigh

isla