Suggestions please!

My husband and I were pretty easily able to agree on girl names, but are having trouble agreeing on a boy name. We like Noa Ileen and Maisa Gean (middle names are family names) for girls. For a boy, he likes Gage Michael, I like Lane Michael, and neither of us is eager to compromise. I would like to find a different middle name for one or both names so we can try to come to an agreement and also to be able to keep in mind as another option in case we end up having another child someday. Not finding out gender. It's a family tradition to be surprised. Last name is Adams. Would love to find a family name to use as a middle for a boy too, but nothing really seems right the way it did for girls. Some family names we've considered are: Michael, Gene, Luegene, Wayne, Malcolm, Scott, Daniel, Joseph, Hunter, Kyler, Keith, Eli, and my husband recently decided he likes Patrick for some reason (I agree it sounds fine, but I have a cousin with this name that I'm not close with, so it doesn't exactly feel like honoring someone the way I'd like to). Would love some help and suggestions. Thanks in advance!

Replies

1
March 29, 2017 3:53 AM

If you like Noa for a girl, why not Noah for a boy?  It is much more commonly a boy name.  Maisa also evokes the boy name Mason to me - do you like that one?

This post is a bit hard to answer, because beyond Lane and Gage, you haven't really said much about what you (and your husband) LIKE in boy names.  So there's not much to go on other than, well, what I like.  But it's not my baby!  Spinning off of Lane and Gage.... what about Cael, Calen, Kyle, George, James, Jay, Llaron....

I think you should settle on a first name before going through your middle name options.  I too like honor names in the middle spot - after all, they are hardly used and shouldn't be in the driver's seat on name selection.  Find the first name you both love, and then an honor middle name that follows that.

 

 

2
March 29, 2017 4:56 AM

I'm not sure whether you guys are even pregnant, or how many kids you want to have, and i think that will make a difference.  If you're not yet pregnant (or beginning an adoption process), you shouldn't feel like you have to decide on names yet.  Who knows?--your tastes might change between now and when you have a kid.

If you're thinking you may only have one child, the stakes feel higher--there's no option to compromise by letting one parent "win" on the first child's name and giving the other parent the lead in naming the second.  In that case, it seems important that both of you really like whatever name you pick.  If you're about to have your first child, and you really really want Lane and your husband really really wants Gage, you can either pick one of those for this first child, or you can agree to table both of those names and see if you can come up with something you both like.

You seem to only like Lane and Michael, while your husband likes Gage, Michael, and Patrick.  It seems reasonable to pick either Gage Michael or Lane Michael for this first child, if you both at least like each other's favorite names.  (If not, skip to the next paragraph.)  Lane Patrick or Gage Patrick can be held in reserve for a potential future child.  I hear your qualm about naming a child after your cousin, but since you don't actually like any other family names, you'll have to pick a name you just like, and using Patrick doesn't have to bestow honor upon your cousin.

If you don't like Gage and your husband doesn't like Lane, you should pick something else.  Lane and Gage actually sound a lot alike: they're both single-syllable names with a long "ay" sound.  That's great!--some common ground.  Could the two of you possibly agree on a different name with those characteristics?

Tate, Blake, Zane, Chase, Wade, Drake, Blaise, Shane, Dale, Blaine, Wayne (family name!)

3
March 29, 2017 12:56 PM

Since neither of you are willing to compromise (which I assume means one of you giving up your favorite names) I suggest you throw both Gage & Lane out, and start looking at new names.  At this point, there really isn't a compromise. If Gage & Lane are the only names being considered, one of you will have to give up your name.  Pretend that Gage and Lane can't be used for some reason, and see what other names float to the top.  It may be that you are able to find something you both like.  It may be that the only way to end the stalemate is to both give up your favorites.

Some names I think feel similar to Gage & Lane-Sage, Cole, Reed, Blaise, Blake, Zane, Chase.

If this exercise doesn't work out, then you can always go back to Gage & Lane and start negotiations there again.  Some ways to compromise, throw out the family middle requirement and use either Gage or Lane as the middle.  Agree that whoever "loses" their favorite name this time, gets more say with the next kid.  You pick first, he picks middle or he picks first and you pick middle.  I think I would also shelve the middle conversation until you have settled on the first.  Sometimes middles have a way of falling into place once the first name has been decided on.  Another option would be to look at your middle name contenders and see if there are any you both like enough to move into the first position, then agree that either Gage or Lane will be used as the middle.

4
March 29, 2017 6:34 PM

Lots of good advice here. It's just so frustrating feeling like we have to keep starting over. I think my husband could possibly be willing to "give in" with Lane, but I'm just not sure I love the idea of making him settle for a name he doesn't love. I find Gage to be too rough/harsh sounding for my liking. I can't see myself wanting to use it necessarily even on a future child, if we so choose to have another. As for right now, we've really only planned for just this one. But sometimes plans change. We've been through the ringer going through so many names and lists and have hardly liked anything for a boy. We've had a lot of relatives use names we like and have already struggled with having to cross several used or too similar names off the list and have finally come down to these two. I think we're both content on preferring Michael as a middle name (my husband's name). Gene and Luegene are my family names that I would love to use, but my husband seems to prefer his name and his grandpa Malcolm's name as a middle, so I feel he is already he's already triumphed there somewhat. But both the girl middles are from my side, so I feel like he deserves a chance to honor his family too. I really just like Lane and Ben, but recently had a family member use a version of Ben, and have, therefore, settled on loving Lane. But if this ends up being it for kiddos for us, I really want us to find name we can both love and to not feel like we settled. Maybe we'll just end up having a girl and it won't even be an issue.

5
March 29, 2017 7:48 PM

Why is it that you don't want to find out the baby's s3x ahead of time?  There's a 50% chance it'll be a girl, which would mean you could relax and table the boy name issue, saving you some stress.

6
March 29, 2017 2:22 PM

I'm intrigued by Luegene. Was this an English update on Luigi/Luigino, or a mashup of Eugene and an L- name? Either way, given that the list of family honor names includes Gean, Gene, and Luegene, I think Gene is a strong contender for a boy middle. However, I agree with previous comments that you should decide the given (first) name first, because choosing that based on the almost-never-used middle name puts the cart before the horse.

7
March 29, 2017 7:24 PM

I don't have any additional advice about the negotiating-with-your-partner aspect, but maybe one of these alternatives to Lane, Gage, and Ben will strike your fancy:

Grant, Zane, Cole, Bryce, Jake, Henry, Noah, Finn, Drew, Tate, Gray/Grayson, Liam, Owen, Leo, Reed, Sam, Colin, Gabe, Gus, Ryan, Adam, Ethan, Alan, Joel, Dan, Ian, Theo, Ari

8
March 30, 2017 8:05 AM

Gael? It contains two letters from each of your top choices. This name is usually pronounced Ga-el, but you could spell it Gale to approximate the pronunciation of Gage and Lane. While usually used for girls, Gale is the name of a male character in the Hunger Games.

9
March 30, 2017 10:43 AM

Gale Sayers! Gale has a long history as a masculine name. Feminine spellings are Gail and Gayle--the feminine usage developed as a short form of Abigail. 

Another mashup of Gage and Lane is Galen, the name of the Ancient Greek physician. I went to school with three Galens.

10
March 30, 2017 11:01 AM

Oh, I'm loving the suggestion of Galen.  Great on its own, and I think it combines the look/sound of Gage + Lane a little more than Gale.

11
March 30, 2017 2:13 PM

Ooh yes. One of our mechanics is named Galen. Great name.

12
April 12, 2017 6:13 PM

My husband and I have decided to move away from Gage entirely.  We just couldn't agree on it and he decided he wasn't set on it anyway.  He has come around to the idea of using Lane Michael as a first and middle combo, but we are also considering adding Bowen and keeping Ben on our short list of boy first names.  We decided to add Kyler (another family name) as a potential middle name.  Any suggestions for a first name to go with the middle and last combo, Kyler Adams??? First names seem to be the hardest to come by and agree on for us, I guess. TIA!

Here are some of the ones we have talked about, but aren't sure of:

Lane Michael or Lane Kyler, Bowen Michael, Bowen Kyler or Bowen Wayne, Ben Kyler, Graham Kyler, Jude Kyler, Malcolm Kyler, Finn Kyler, Nathan Kyler, and Dean Kyler.

Would love some opinions on these.

 

13
April 16, 2017 11:42 AM

The only one that strikes me of being problematic is Finn Kyler, just because of the Star Wars characters Finn and Kylo Ren. But outside of geek culture, no one is going to make that connection. All of the names have a good rhythm and sound nice together. Not much help--sorry!

14
April 22, 2017 7:21 AM

I have a Grant Michael.  family names are nice to use as mn

 

Nathan, Jude, Benjamin or Dean are nice too or Todd.  Scott Michael is nice or Patrick Michael