KellyXY

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Kelly

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1
June 15, 2014 07:06 AM

I think for a 2014 girl Lindsay would be even more dated-in-a-bad-way than Linda, since the former is a surname/boy's name turned girl's name (which tend to date unfavorably afterwards) while the latter at least has some pedigree as a feminine name.

2
June 5, 2014 04:04 PM

Does your DH have any kind of amended birth certificate including one that shows both names, or has nothing been changed on it (the way you described it I'm not sure)? If not, what state was he born in (if you and he are okay with sharing)? Like I mentioned upthread (and on one of your other comments, which I edited by mistake today) the majority of states do allow some degree of amending to be done (some will issue an all-new one without mentioning the change, while others the old info is still visible but the new is added). And why would he need to show his name change papers every time he does taxes, since once you send proof of the name change to the IRS (e.g. the first time filing taxes after the change) they shouldn't need it again (no more than you would after you got married)? Trust me, I've had contact with several transgender people and thus are aware of the ins and outs of making sure as much is changed over as possible (if your DH was born in MA they're one of the few states that don't normally amend BCs because of a name change but have a special rule in place for transgender people).

Another point I want to bring up from the same experience and the lady here (scroll down to see my reply), is that when it goes to time to fill out the birth certificate form for your DC (given that I saw another post where you're expecting), if they ask for his "birth name" be sure and ask someone from the VS office what name they want. That probably won't be an issue since he's male and most states just ask for the father's name as-is, since what they typically actually want is the name as it would be without any marriages (and not necessarily the name given at birth if different), and men don't normally change their last name when marrying. They generally do want you to take into account names changed for other reasons, like adoption or personal preference (as in his and the blogger's case). (The forms may not spell out that detail for the sake of space and being a less-common scenario, but it's something I've asked about.)

3
June 5, 2014 03:35 PM

Re; her birth certificate - In many states when you legally change your name (for reasons not related to a marriage of course) your birth certificate gets (or can be) amended (or a note attached) - a fact not well-known outside the adoption and transgender communities. (I don't know if the OP amended hers or not, but when people talk about the hassle of your birth certificate and other IDs not matching they need to bear that in mind.)

4
June 5, 2014 10:59 AM

I didn't know you were familiar with amending a birth certificate (a lot of people who haven't dealt with adoptions or transgender people aren't aware of the fact) - and I understand when you were referring to say a leftover copy of the original one or an unofficial hospital certificate vs. the official one being amended. Even adults changing legally changing their names for certain (non-marriage-or-other-domestic-partnership-related) reasons can often get their BC amended under the same policies, which I've brought up a few times when someone was asking about the ins and outs of changing their name.

5
June 4, 2014 05:03 PM

I second this!

6
June 4, 2014 02:16 PM

Actually, as I've said before, in the majority of states the birth certificate can be amended to reflect a court-ordered name change (in some of them the change might be shown which would likewise be something she may ask about, but that would still make any issues of having to carry two documents moot).

7
June 1, 2014 07:10 AM
In Response to 538 Covers Baby Names

The SSA list doesn't differentiate on when a person's number was applied for (indeed before SSNs were needed to claim a child as a dependent in the late 1980s many people didn't get their number until they started working). The list is restricted to those born in the U.S. though, so those who immigrate to the country and then get their SSN don't count. Also, I think the name that is recorded for the stats is whatever it was when the SSN was first applied for (you can see that with "placeholder" names like "Unknown" and "Baby" showing up, which were used when a number needed to be obtained before the parents could decide on a name).

You can read more about these and other "artifacts" in the SSA list in this post from me.

8
April 17, 2014 01:00 PM

I've touched on this subject before so I won't say much more, but one tip I'd like to reiterate is if you're a parent-to-be with a name that is more common for kids than your own generation then you might want to think twice about bestowing a name that was popular when you were growing up on a child of the same sex (or either sex if the name in question is unisex). In other words, if you're an expectant mom named Sophia you might want to avoid Stephanie for your daugher, just like if you already have a boy named Sasha you might want to avoid naming a girl Sawyer if you want people to be straight on who's who. (Although many NEs like the idea of having an ahead-of-the-curve name, this is one of the disadvantages with having such a name.) Of course this isn't an absolute reason not to use a name you like, but just something that you might want to know the ramifications of doing.

On the other hand, if you're the other way around with your name's generational placement (the one that many NEs aren't a fan of - having a name more common for your parents' generation than yours; since I'm going with an "S" theme I'll use Susan as the example) you have somewhat of an advantage when it comes to choosing a name that makes a "natural" sounding family. If you go with (for example) Stephanie it may make your household sound a bit retro, or if you go with the other example of Sophia it may sound like a generation was skipped, but either way wouldn't spin people's minds like a mom-Sophia/daughter-Stephanie duo would.

9
March 29, 2014 12:38 PM

On the other hand there are cases where the opposite (a man presumed to be a woman) can be advantageous as well, such as cases where a "gender quota" is sought. Either way, it's easy to remedy the possibility of being assumed to be the opposite gender on a résumé if desired - include your middle name (if it clarifies your gender) or include a Mr. or Ms. in front of your name (while someone who doesn't have a unisex name or nickname can't really go the other way unless they change their name).

The debate on whether men or women benefit more from a unisex name on résumés is like the debate whether having an "older" or "younger" name than what is typical for your generation is better. If you're seeking a tech-based job and you're a Baby Boomer named Lauren that may help ward off age discrimination that is rampant against older workers in that industry, while if you're a Millennial named Linda that may give you an advantage with getting a position where maturity is a plus (such as a professional/leadership role).

The main names I caution against using if you want it to look good for getting a job are misspelled/kre8ive ones (which do tend to score a less desirable first impression).

10
March 26, 2014 05:45 PM

I agree - since Amy is perfectly respectable as a full name I'd just use it as such. Now if you liked another name to begin with and thought of nicknaming her Amy as short for that name then I'd say do that - but since it's Amy that you mainly like and are trying to unnecessarily think of a longer name then I think it's better to go ahead and put Amy on the birth certificate.

11
March 21, 2014 07:12 AM
In Response to SSA list artifacts

I'm not saying that putting a nickname down to appear on your SS card was common - but given the different typical procedures at getting a SSN was different in the past (didn't happen until you were older, less strict about checking that everything matches) there would be at least a sizable number of cases where the birth certificate would have the full name but the SSN would be registered under a shorter version (enough to skew the stats as compared to the contemporary lists a bit).

12
March 20, 2014 06:27 AM
In Response to Harper Drake

I second this - I wouldn't have a problem with using Harper for a boy.

13
March 18, 2014 08:13 PM

@Cossette729 - I can think of numerous names that would have the opposite effect (the "nickname trap" makes the name seem less popular than the stats for the full name would suggest). A lot of the classic/once-popular names that have multiple nicknames would have this effect; here's some I can think of:

For girls Elizabeth is easily the queen of nickname-diverse names. Catherine/Katherine/etc. aren't far behind (in that case the spelling variations end up "splitting" the stats as well), and Margaret is another classic with several common nicknames. Probably the leader among currently in-style names for nickname-ability is Isabella, and from the now-dated bunch Dorothy and Patricia.

On the boy's side a lot of the "older" classics (e.g. Charles, Richard, Robert) are often shortened in different ways, and there are also some more "current" ones like Alexander that could easily go numerous ways.

(If you can think of any more such names you're welcome to add to the ones I mentioned.)

14
March 13, 2014 06:54 AM

One thing you need to be aware with changing your given names in conjunction with a marriage - many places won't let you change your first name with just a marriage license. In other words, assuming that's the rules where you are, you'd have to go through court just like someone making a change at any other time.

15
March 6, 2014 02:32 PM

I wouldn't go with Bony given the other connotations, but Bonnie is acceptable but a bit dated (not that would be a bad thing - I think it'd have a "retro" feel on someone your age).

Yony/Rony are a bit too eccentric IMO if you're looking for something normal.

Admittedly I do see the appeal of Ryan on a female, and as long as you don't mind that there would be a lot of guys around your age (and a bit older and younger as well) with the name and how some people might see your name and assume your gender wrong before meeting you, I'd give it a pass for you.

Br(e/i)e, Briann(a/e), Briar, and Bryn are nice but not really my style.

My personal picks would be Bonnie if your tastes lean more vintagey and homespun, and Ryan if you'd prefer a more edgy and modern name. Good luck!

16
March 5, 2014 07:06 AM

Actually it is still technically referred to as an amendment, but in the "attachment" case they indicate the changes on a second page rather than cross out or erase the old/incorrect information on the original document - although anyone seeing the certificate will see the changes it has the same validity. (Another technicality with all these cases in contrast to a purely marriage-related name change is that in most cases it changes your maiden/birth name for purposes of how it would appear on your children's birth certificates. I posted more detail about this situation under a comment at the link below - the blogger's comment highlighting her situation and then my comment on the child's BC situation are highlighted in blue.) http://appellationmountain.net/name-of-the-day-abigail/

17
March 4, 2014 02:51 PM

Re: Your birth certificate - actually in most states, if you legally change your name for a non-marriage-related reason you can have it amended (or at least get an attachment added) reflecting your new name. (In sharalyn's case she wouldn't have been able to since all she did was make her maiden name into a middle name - which is still considered only due to marriage.) If you're interested you can contact Vital Statistics in the state where you were born - or I have a link below that was designed for people changing their gender as well, but may be of use to anyone with a first or non-marriage last name change. http://www.drbecky.com/birthcert.html

Also, beware that in many places you're not allowed to drop a first name even if you're changing to your husband's last name just by using your marriage license - changes involving your first name will likely have to be dealt with through court in the same way as if you weren't getting married at all.

18
February 23, 2014 09:03 AM

Another example of the parent's and child's names appearing to be reversed: On the show Up All Night from 2011-12, the mom was Reagan and the baby daughter was Amy (on top of that one of Reagan's friends was Ava). Then there are the examples I've mentioned before of mom Jen(ny) (albeit short for Jane) with daughter Linda, and dad Nathan with son Paul. Then there is one case I recall mentioned on here several years ago that would've seemed more real in the past than now - mom Rose with daughter Sharon.

19
February 19, 2014 05:13 PM

@Camilla - Like you, from the faces in the second group, Kayden is the only one that is egregiously "off" to me (since the name is a very modern one the chances of someone his age having the name from birth are extremely low). The others, while maybe a bit unexpected for the person's generation/race/ethnicity/religion, don't sound totally out-of-place with those faces.

20
February 11, 2014 08:04 PM

I thought I'd bring up how howmanyofme.com's data is quite outdated as far as first names are concerned - the last census to release such data was the 1990 one (last names are based on 2000 data). That means names which have become more popular since then (e.g. Charlotte, and even Hannah which had its heyday in the 1990s/2000s) will be underrepresented while older names which haven't made a come back will be overrepresented.

Something you might be interested in is this list from the SSA, showing the Top 100 names for all years of birth combined over the last 100 years. Some of the names which peaked in the early years of that window (where the majority of members have already died) are still probably overrepresented, but it does take into account recently popular names. You can see how Elizabeth being so continually popular pushes its ranking up. You can also see how the higher birthrate during the baby boom years has pushed a lot of those names up as well. Since Jennifer (another one of the top names) was more popular during a time when the birthrate was lower (mid-late Generation-X era), that shows just how much the name towered in popularity!