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Yes, I agree with all of this.
"It is not the end of the world for a boy to be mistaken for a girl, because otherwise what are we saying about the value of girls?"
This, exactly. Thank you.
Though, I must admit that I am an old fuddy when it comes to gendered names. I don't like unisex names. I want my boy names to be all boy and my girl names to be all girl. Though, I tend to prefer traditional/old fashioned names, so that probably has something to do with it.
So, a good stand in for your last name might be Abbott? I don't think Cora Abbott is an issue.
I could never talk my husband into Agnes or Agatha (2 of my favorites). We only had boys, so it never really mattered. But I would love to see someone use one of them.
On their own, I really like both Ruby & Matilda. However, I'm not a fan of themed first names for twins, so Matilda gets my vote.
If you don't already have middle names you want to use, perhaps you could do Violet MiddleName and Matilda Ruby. They'd both get a color name, but it'd be much more subtle that way.
I think Netta is fine. It should fit in great with other vintage names and no, I don't think she'd get made fun of.
However, I agree with previous comments that it seems very nickname like. I would check with your husband's family and make sure it was actually her given name. If it was (or if you don't care for grandma's full name) then using Netta as a nickname for something you can both agree on seems like a perfect compromise.
Agneta, Garnet, Reinette, etc. It could also potentially work for something like Gwyneth.
I love all your names, you really can't go wrong with any of them.
I'm curious if you also question the A in Matilda? If not, perhaps that's a sign that you don't like Cora quite as much. It could be a problem, but it would depend on the specific A sound of your last name. For me, something like Cora Akins (Core-ah Ay-kins) would be less of a concern than something like Cora Adair (Core-ah Ah-dare).
Cora, Matilda & Phoebe were all names my husband and I discussed, so it seems we have pretty similiar taste. I'll suggest Margaret, Helen, Cordelia, Agnes, Agatha, Amelia, Violet, Audrey & Willa.
Deirdre can be Didi
Something like Katherine or Kiera could be Kiki
I've seen the singer Rihanna called RiRi (no idea if this is an actual nickname or just a press thing).
S names could lead to Sissy
Oh, I hadn't even thought about Aidan! But now that you've pointed it out, I have to agree. The combination of Eden being used most often for girls, plus the overwhelming popularity of all the Aidan names will probably lead to some confusion. Not the end of the world (my name is confused for other names all the time). But if they are already having doubts about Eden, I'd say this is another strike against it.
I suspect anything similiar to Hudson is going to strike the original poster as too common. Hudson is part of the 2-syllable, ends in "en" surname trend. Even if you find a rarely used name, it will likely still feel trendy or common because it's part of such a large group of names.
Lincoln is spot on. I'll also add Sullivan, Lawson & Mason to names that seem to fit the style of Hudson. Of these, I suspect Sullivan is probably the least common (feeling too lazy to check).
I love the suggestions of Otis, Cormac, Harris, & Nigel. Perhaps also Harrison, Riordan, Roarke, Duncan, Luther, Thane or Holt (again with the lazy, I didn't actually check stats for any of these).
My first thought was also Elizabeth! I think something longer like Elizabeth would work best with Grace.
Grace Felicity (and the idea of a double virtue name is kind of cool).
I know tons of girls with Grace as a middle name-so many that Grace strikes me as a filler middle. However, I don't know any with Grace as a first name. As a first, I find it somewhat surprising & refreshing.
I'm not really a fan of Tennyson, sorry. Surnames as first just aren't my thing. Of your options, I think Tennyson Piper has a better flow & is more obviously "girl" where Tennyson Grey reads more boy or perhaps unisex.
I love Miles Benjamin-fantastic combination!
Miles Jay is also nice, but I find the 1 syllable middle after the 1 syllable first name to sound a bit choppy. Though, depending on your last name, that could be a good thing.
Miles Emerson is OK, but I don't love it as much as Miles Benjamin.
Personally, I find many of your names too close to use together (especially the g/g pairings). I'll also 2nd the suggestion of finding some other theme besides first initial to tie your names together. I know several sets of twins with matching initials & they all agree they hate it.
Baylee & Breylnn, I'm not sure how I should say Breylynn. Is it supposed to be sound like Bray-lynn? If so, I think it is way too close to Baylee. They've really only got a couple sounds to distinguish them from each other. If Breylynn is meant to sound more like Bree-lynn, I'll suggest you consider spelling it Breelynn. Breelynn is a little better with Baylee, but I find they are still pretty tongue twister-ish. Maybe Baylee & Bree (without the "lynn").
Payson & Paisley are also too close. They share the same 1st syllable.
I really, really like Salem. It is by far my favorite name on your g/g list. Not so crazy about Sutton-I think it reads very masculine, especially paired with Salem. Perhaps Skylar, Sienna or Sage?
I'm finding M suggestions difficult, since all of the Mc names will be too close to use with McKinleigh or McKenziegh. Maybe Morgan?
I like Declan & Dylan-not a fan of the spellings you are using.
Austin & Aiden are both very nice!
Chase & Chad are also really nice.
Don't care for Lathan at all, but I do like Logan.
Please don't use Maverick. To me, it's like naming your kid Champ or Tiger. Would make a great, fun nickname, but doesn't make a good proper name.
Kamden & Kambriee both look mispelled to me. I'd like Camden & Cambry much better.
Declen & Darcie are my favorite of your b/g pairings. I will point out that the traditional spelling is Declan-using Declen will likely lead to a lot of spelling corrections & explanations.
Branden & Baylee are probably my 2nd choice of your b/g pairings.
It seems we have different tastes in girl names, but our styles are closer when it comes to boys. Based off my favorites from your list, I'll suggest some alternate b/g pairings.
Austin & Alyssa, Aiden & Aria, Aiden & Aubrey (you seem to like the "bree" sound)
Chase & Capri, Chad & Chloe (I like that they both start with Ch, but have different sounds).
Liam & Logan, Logan & Layla, Logan & Lela (lee-lah)
Salem & Sutton (Sutton for the boy), Salem & Sullivan
Eden strikes me as very feminine. I'd be really surprised to see it on a girl. I'll also point out that Elliot is starting to get some use on girls now too, so the combination is likely to read as very girl to some people.
If it's the sound of Eden that you like, I'll suggest Ethan Elliot instead.
If you like Eden for the religious meaning, perhaps another less common Biblical name could work? Ezra, Abram, Elam
If it's more the image/garden/nature vibe, perhaps something like Cedar, Reed, River
Yeah, I can't imagine thinking of my child and intentionally trying to pick a "sexy" name. Yes, I realize babies grow into adults, but it seems weird for parents to think about or want that attribute for their children.
All that said, I don't know that I'd call any of these names "sexy." Most of them have a certain romantic feel, which is different than sexy. Many of them also lean a bit "exotic." Associating exotic with sexy is problematic for totally different reasons.
You really can't go wrong with any of these names. They are all great.
Lorelei/Lori & Elinor/Nora have a lot of sounds in common. Enough that I think using one name now would eliminate using the other one in the future. If you plan on more kids later, you may want to consider which of these you'd be most willing to give up. Personally, I lean more towards Lorelei/Lori for you. It seems like you've talked about it on this site longer-so it has staying power. It's also less common than Elinor/Nora (which are close to reaching oversaturation where I live).
Elizabeth/Libby/Lily is fantastic! It's another that seems to have staying power, as you've mentioned them both in past discussions. You just can't go wrong with Elizabeth-and it has so many nickname options.
Esme is nice, but it seems a bit lacking in the nickname department when compared to the others on your list.
So, in order, my preference would be Lorelai/Lori, Elizabeth/Libby/Lily, Elinor/Nora, Esme.
Any of your Rose combinations are lovely. With the exception of Elinor, I think Rose would work well as a middle for any of your names. Personally Elinor Rose/Nora Rose has too many of the same sounds too close together.
I like Angelo.
I really like Louis, though I suspect in the U.S. you will encounter difficulties with people you want to say Lou-is instead of Lou-ee. If that won't bother you, I'd say it'd be my top pick. If the Lou-is vs. Lou-ee is an issue for you, the spelling Louie is also an option.
Cicero seems a bit too much for me. I think the historical associations make it hard for me to see this name on a IRL person.
Boyce doesn't seem to match what you say you want. It is uncommon, but I wouldn't call it timeless or familiar to the ear. It honestly has a very modern/trendy/possibly made-up sound. For some people, it could also sound a lot like "boys." However, Robert as a first name fits everything you seem to want, and I could see Boyce as a possible nickname for it.
Merritt Thomas is nice. I notice the t ending of Meritt runs into the start of Thomas a bit (I'm really nitpicking here). Something like Merritt Robert would flow better.
Hollis is nice, but I see it getting suggested for girls a lot. If that will bother you, you may want to consider using it as a middle. The nickname Oli also may not be as uncommon as you would prefer (thanks to all the Olivers out there). I could also see some potentional confusion in a classroom with Oli, Ellie, Ella, etc. Isaias is lovely. I think it has some great potential as a first name in that it seems to fit everything you said you want in a name.
Your girl names are all lovely. Currently not too common, but still familiar. They fit well with other vintage revival names, but would still stand out.
I adore Sybil Elizabeth called Birdie.
For Roslyn Dorothea, I lean towards Rosie. Ozy is too much Ozzy Osbourne. Thea is nice, but I like Rosie better-I just don't come across Rose/Rosie/Rosa as a first name much and I find it very refreshing.
Josephine Madalyn nn Joey is nice. Poppy seems like a bit of a stretch. If you are open to other suggestions, I also like Josie and Fi as nicknames.
My first thought is that Ty sounds too similiar to Lyla to be used. I'm assuming Lyla sounds like Lie-lah. I think I'd end up calling them both Tie-lah a lot. Perhaps you'd like something like Tyson better? That extra syllable could also lessen the problem I see with Lyla & Ty together.
Luke is nice, but seems a bit meh to me. Jack is also nice, but a bit too common where I am. I really like Jude-it's not super common or trendy and I thnk it works well with both Lyla & Graham.
I love Matilda for you!
I think it depends on how theme-y you want the twin names to be.
Violet & Sienna both have strong color associations for me. Other than the color association, they strike me as very different style-wise. Violet is more vintage revival & Sienna is very modern. For a color-theme using names more similiar in style, I'd suggest something like Violet & Ruby or Violet & Hazel.
Violet & Poppy would give you a flower theme. I like Poppy better than Sienna, though I find it it seems a little cute/nicknamey next to Violet. Poppy also strikes me as more modern/trendy (though less so than Sienna). Perhaps Violet & Rose, Violet & Iris or Violet & Lily instead?
Myla & Lorna both just feel off next to Violet. Again, I think it's the pairing of a very vintage/sweet name with one that is more trendy/modern/spunky. However, if you prefer twin names that aren't theme-y, either of these would work (I slightly prefer Lorna).
Violet & Aria are rather nice together. There is a bit of style-clash, but both names feel equally sweet/feminine so I think they work together. There's also a subtle connection in that they are both word names-but this "theme" is much more subtle than the color or flower theme. This is my favorite combination from your list.
For some currently trendy names that still have a vintage feel, I'll suggest Eva, Amelia, Audrey, Margo, Lena, Lila, & Olivia.