First baby!

Hello. I am having my first little one in early January. We aren't finding out the gender, and we are struggling with names.

We have narrowed it down to two names of each gender. For girls, Charlotte (Charlie) and Thalia, and for boys, William (Will) and Taylor. The middle names are going to be Love for the boy(it's a family name) and for a girl either Violet or Virginia (also both family names). We just moved over seas and I know that there are more important things I should be worrying about, but I can't help but stress over this. Please help!

P.S. Here are the other names we were thinking about:

Girls:

Charlotte (Charlie)

Thalia

Harper

Remy

Juniper (June)

Boys:

Taylor

Oliver

Elliot

William (Will)

Hudson

Oscar/Oskar (oskie)

Theodore (Theo)

Replies

1
By Mea
November 27, 2016 4:25 AM

Thalia Virginia has a ring to it. Charlotte just doesn't work with Violet and Virginia in my opinion and then with the boy I'd go for Taylor Love just because it sounds so poetic.

2
November 27, 2016 11:23 AM

Your list combines some fairly distinct styles. If you're thinking of more children later, perhaps it'd help with naming this child to consider which of these styles is more "you" -- not because sibling names absolutely have to match, but because sticking to one category can help mitigate the tyranny of choice.

My groupings:

Classics (in use since forever): Charlotte, June; Oliver, Elliot, William, Oscar, Theodore.

Modern surnames and gender-benders: Charlie, Harper, Remy, Taylor, Hudson.

Pseudo-classics (feel old, but actually only recently made the top 1000): Thalia, Juniper.

3
November 27, 2016 12:36 PM

"mitigate the tyranny of choice" -- perfect!

4
By AAK
November 27, 2016 2:40 PM

I think it would be best to stick with the group that has the most names, which is the 'Classics' group. We are looking to have more than one, at least two or three, and them having names that sound good together would be preferred. 

Also: My brother and his wife just told the family that they are going to use the name Theodore Robert Lastname. So Theodore is now unusable(even though we probably weren't even going to use it), unless they change their minds at the last minute. 

5
By EVie
November 27, 2016 6:11 PM

I think HNG has given you some good advice, although I would group Thalia more with the "classic" names--it may not have been in common English usage until recently, but it's an ancient name (one of the nine Muses) and has plenty of history behind it. I could picture a sibset of William, Charlotte and Thalia pretty easily.

I like all your top choices except for Taylor, in part because I don't care for surname names on either gender, in part because Taylor is feeling pretty dated to me, and in part because Taylor Love is very, very androgynous sounding and will frequently be taken as female, which may be problematic if the kid doesn't have the right temperament to handle it. So I would definitely pick William for a boy. Thalia Violet and Thalia Virginia both sound lovely to me, as does Charlotte Virginia. I would only pass on Charlotte Violet because I don't like that they match in both ending and meter, which makes the overall effect very sing-songy. I have V as a middle initial, and I have always loved it, so a big thumbs up to that.

It sounds like you are in a pretty good position with clear front runners and some time to mull over the decision. What about it is still stressing you out? Can you take your top few choices to the hospital and decide what feels best after meeting the baby? 

6
By AAK
November 27, 2016 11:17 PM

The part that is stressing me out the most is family pushing names on us, and begging that we tell them what we decided on. I keep telling them that we haven't picked yet, but they just think it's an excuse not to spill the beans.  To make matters worse, since we recently moved, my mother and my mother-in-law are moving in with us a week before the baby comes.     They want to be their when the baby gets here, which is perfectly fine, I just hope they won't stay too long.

Taking our top choices to the doctor is a wonderful idea, then we could see what really fits them. 

7
By EVie
November 28, 2016 2:27 PM

Stick to your guns! Whatever names they try to push on you, smile and nod and say things like "Thanks for the idea, we'll keep it in mind," or "That's one I hadn't thought of, I'll run it by [husband]." I found it helpful to tell people that we hadn't decided yet because we were having trouble finding something we both liked. It was partially true, but even if it's a white lie, it doesn't hurt anybody and may help get them off your back--you can't disclose a name you don't know yet. If people prodded farther, I would tell them that I liked more obscure historical names and my husband had more conservative tastes, so we were trying to find a compromise. Sometimes I would throw out a few names that I really do like, but weren't on the table due to husband veto.

8
November 28, 2016 4:39 PM

I tended to turn it into a joke, along the lines of "let's face it, newborns aren't very photogenic, so it's good to keep the name a surprise so people have something to respond to besides a picture of an ugly red baby." It tended to work, even in a country where everyone anounces the name the second they know the gender.

9
November 27, 2016 3:46 PM

Looking at your top names for girls, I would lean heavily towards Charlotte Virginia or Thalia Violet. The matching syllables and endings of Charlotte Violet and Thalia Virginia don't have as nice of a ring to my ear (of course this is simply my personal opinion).

I agree with the PPs suggestion of choosing a style to help narrow your choices and make naming future children easier. Given that you like the classic approach, I think Charlotte Virginia with the nickname Charlie is a lovely choice.

For a boy, keep in mind that choosing Taylor with a middle name that is also unisex will require you to have to specify that you have a son. I see nothing wrong with unisex names, but some people may be annoyed to deal with the confusion of others so I wanted to point that out.

10
November 28, 2016 1:47 AM

I think baby names are something to think about (any parent would want to make a good choice for their child), so I think it's understandable that you'd worry about it on top of everything that's going on. It's not trivial, is what I'm saying.

I agree with babsiekay and EVie that using Taylor would be inconvenient on you and your son, though I admit to a huge bias towards William.

Among your girl choices, I prefer Charlotte Virginia and Thalia Violet because of their rhythms. Charlotte Violet sounds too sing-songy for me too, and Thalia Virginia is personally not my style when it comes to rhythm.

 

11
By rooo
November 28, 2016 3:29 AM

You've gotten great feedback already, but one other thing to consider is that William and Charlotte are royal family names, so if you choose either you may not want to use the other in the future, depending on your tolerance for "if you have a third will you name it George?" remarks.

As for your meddling family, I might respond to their requests to know the name with some off-the-wall ideas. "I am in love with Dandelion for a boy, but he's crazy about Rudolph. We will just have to wait and see if it's a boy and which he looks like". Have fun with it. Or if you don't think they will appreciate the humor, pivot the topic and give them a less stressful way to contribute. Ask how they chose their childrens' names, their opinions on their own names or their favorite celebrity names.

12
By AAK
November 28, 2016 5:23 PM

I hadn't even thought about the royal family! And on top of that we just moved to the U.K.! How could I have forgotten? Guess that means that if we use one, The other is off the table for good. 

13
By EVie
November 28, 2016 5:46 PM

I don't think it needs to be at all. William and Charlotte are classic British names and have been for hundreds of years, and William is Charlotte's father, not her brother. If you ended up with a sibset of William, Charlotte, George and Catherine, yes, that would clearly signal royal family homage, but just William and Charlotte are fine.