Help! My Husband Is Excited About The Baby, But Not The Naming Process! Plus We Have Two Different Styles Of "old Lady" Names.

Hi all.! I am beginning my second trimester and am very excited. My problem rests in the title that we both like " old lady names" but not the same ones by a stretch, if we have a girl.



 We have agreed upon Elise for a first name. Baby naming is not a fantasy or hobby for him, and it seems like the most important thing in the world to me right now, and  a crazy part of me wants him to be as interested in names as i am. i do want an AHA moment. if he acted excited, then i would feel reassured, but instead i find myself searching and announcing different picks and i get the same neutral reaction from him. His picks, on the other hand, make my insides recoil. He would like to see any of the below listed as either first or middle names:



Deborah-    perpetually 40   (my other issue, is he has two sisters and this is one of the sisters names and they are both fiercely competitive. i don't care for their names, but like them as people.

Margaret- same as debi, middle-aged

Muriel- cannot imagine saying this out loud

Sybilla- loved the movie Kingdom of Heaven, but not wanting it on my kid, also he won't go for just Sybil. i have tried to use variants of these names as a compromise, but he just likes them in the form presented.


Ready for your middle name suggestions and support!




April 29, 2012 9:44 AM

forgot to mention my style, in addition to Elise- he would not have come up with that. I like middle name ideas like Victoria, Amelia, Sabrina or Juliet for starters. He also has unbelievably strange associations with names he does not want us to use for the middle such as :

(No-gos and their reasons according to my hubby)

Josephine- because of Josephine Baker and the banana skirt-really!

Ginger- girl he was attracted to in high school

Ava/Charlotte- exes, ,understandable

Any name ever associated in his mind with playboy type nudity or stripperesque!

He also naysays Carys- because of the priests last name in the exorcist damian( kerris, probably.)

maeve-won't say why, just dislikes


April 29, 2012 11:01 AM

dana-First off, you have some time still I would think. I'm sure the baby will get a lovely name in the end. I see many of your dh's choices as having the "el" sound in them so I'm guessing that's why Elise is going to work. Many of your names have harder C/Ch sounds. Using Nymbler I get these ideas when putting in dh's ideas and then yours separately, there is a lot of overlap. Maybe you can agree on one of these:

Coraline; Cordelia; Sabrina; Marion; Audrey; Violet; Willa; Nora; Marjorie; Rachel; Scarlett; Genevieve; Rebecca; Molly; Lydia; Helen; Doreen; Joanne; Paige; Naomi; Marta; Georgia; Claire; Gladys; Lucy; Harper, Adeline, Violet, Stella, Ruby, Mariah, Astrid, Victoria, Phoebe, Hazel, Frances, Bridget, Brooke, Constance, Justine, Geraldine, Colette, Winifred, Samantha  

By Guest (not verified)
April 29, 2012 2:04 PM

Hazel and Frances look like they could be in both your styles, and Elise Hazel or Elise Frances sound nice.

Margaret to me is a classic name like Elizabeth and Anne, and works very well as a middle name. Elise Margaret sounds lovely.

What about Catherine or Mary?

April 29, 2012 11:28 PM

Deborah-sounds like this would cause family problems.  Unless you want to feel obligated to use the other sister's name for the next child, I'd pass.  But what about other possible family namesakes?  If the baby is getting his surname, maybe you could talk him into a family name from your side as the middle?    Seems like it could be a good compromise.

Josephine plus Margaret makes me wonder if something like Josette could work.  Gives you the "Jo" and he gets the end sounds of Margaret without the banana skirt reference and it sounds just a little French like Elise, but without trying too hard.

Your husband's name choices remind me of my husbands-he liked a lot of what I considered mom names plus some very dated sounding 70's names from when we were growing up and I liked names that were a little more vintage than that.  The very small handful of names we were able to agree on were Cordelia, Helen, Susannah and Lauren.


April 30, 2012 12:16 AM

It can be quite hard to name a baby when you haven't met that baby yet and you aren't that interested in names, so I think that is why some men struggle.  I suspect he will get better once you get further into the pregnancy and it becomes more 'real' or when the baby is born. If you aim to at least have an agreed shortlist I'm sure you will be able to agree on something once he/she arrives.

Elise is lovely and I think it goes well with many of the names you list.  I like Elise Juliet and Elise Victoria.  

Would you consider Sybilla or Margaret as a middle? Margaret can be Maggie or Greta instead?

I like the suggestion of Elise Hazel. How about:

Elise Eleanor or Elise Nora

Elise Margot

Elise Harriet

Elise Caroline