Sibling for Abigail and Eleanor

We are expecting our third baby (a boy) on July 30th and totally stumped on a name. Husband is really excited about a boy, and is almost too picky on names. The only name he likes is his own...not happening 

Siblings are Abigail Marie (goes by Abbey) and Eleanor Julia and last name similar to Poler. We'd love the perfect name for Abbey and Eleanor's brother!

Thanks for your time


May 18, 2015 11:15 AM

Oops posted this before, sorry

May 18, 2015 12:10 PM

It sounds like your husband wants his own name and is vetoing all other options.  Nothing you or we can suggest will be as good as his name, so it is obviously not good enough for a name for his child, so he vetos it. 

I suggest that you tell him that his name is off the table, and you guys had better find the best of the remaining pool of names (even if it isn't quite as good as his name).  You could try flattery: "your name is so wonderful, but it is your name special to you; we need to find a special name for this new boy soon to be joining us."

Then, suggest that he compile a list of 12 or so names that he could live with, and you pick your favorite.  Or you make a list of 12 or so names, and say he can only remove a name if he can replace it with one he likes better that is not his own name (if he is unwilling to make a list of his own).  With a vetoer, I don't know if it will work to make your own name list and have him pick his favorite.  Another option is to make two lists, and both of you rate the names on each list from 0-10; the names with the highest score (0-20) go on the finalist list.  If he puts his own name on there, you can give it a zero. 

May 18, 2015 2:49 PM

Is there any possibility you could find a name that nods at your husband's name, but isn't the exact same name? For example, a version of his name in a different language, or a different name with a similar meaning, or one that shares a syllable somewhere.

For example, if your husband's name was James you could call him Jacob (alternate version) or Anselm (from Germanic elements meaning "god" and "helm, protect", riffing on potential derivation of James/Jacob from Hebrew Ya'aqov'el, "may God protect") or BenJAMin or Jason (Ja[mes' ]son).

That way, he gets a namesake, and you can find a name that suits your style and isn't too confusing. (You could even pick a name first, and then retroactively look for a connection, though that's chancier.