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Haha, Southern Lady, I think my cousin is married to your cousin! san antonio...? I like Harper Elizabeth and it strikes me as a little bit southern for some reason, maybe due to Harper Lee, or maybe the Elizabeth, bc Harper isn't normally a name I think of as southern, but you might try the whole "southern gentlemen" boys names category. I would suggest Grayson except your last name. I just scanned the new book and there isn't exactly that category, but I liked Hamilton, Bancroft, and Augustus from the "Ladies and Gentlemen" category. I do know a sibset named Harper, Luke, and Merritt, although I have never been convinced that Luke goes with his more adventurously named sisters. From the books "Harper" entry, I like brothers Lincoln, Holden, Truman and Sawyer.
I liked Lola as a nickname for my Lillian but my husband voted it down based on the rep of "Lolita" and the song about the transvestite. I kind of liked it because it has some bad girl connotations though! Also, Madonna's daughter is a Lola, isn't she? And perhaps one of Charlie Sheen's daughters.
I would email her; some people get really weird and possessive about "their" baby names. Not that she would, but just to be up-front and let her know that you didn't use it because they did, but that it was already your baby's chosen name before their baby was born. I would not phrase it as though you are asking permission though, bc there is always a chance she would ask you not to use it.
A dear friend of mine has two girls, Arden and Nora. Nora is 8 now, and, other than her, I have only heard the name once or twice in eight years. I think it's a great name; feminine, classic, cute, and still strong.
We liked the name Anne Marie for our daughter but when said out loud it's hard to distinguish from Anne Murray.